


Not always by choice

by DCS_Hellstorm



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Camp Jaha | Arkadia, Character Death, F/F, Minor Angst, Multi, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Polis, Romance, TonDC, Training, Violence, hopefully fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 05:26:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7421698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DCS_Hellstorm/pseuds/DCS_Hellstorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Canon divergence after 2x04. Anya was shot, but survived. And while she is recovering, she unexpectedly starts falling for a certain blonde, who may actually reciprocate her feelings.  But will the war with the mountain allow them to act upon it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not willing to accept that Anya's dead. Or Lexa. Or Lincoln. There will still be some major and minor character death, but nothing to get too mad about. (hopefully)

“Clarke…”, she remembered the voice. It was her mom’s. But it couldn’t be, her mother died on the exodus ship. But she could’ve sworn she saw her. Clarke didn’t remember much. Fleeting images and broken memories. She recalled two hands grabbing at her and dragging her through mud and high grass. But there was something else before. Two loud noises and sharp pain going through her arm. The fog in her brain started clearing out faster and she finally remembered the most important part.

 

“Anya!” Clarke shot awake. She looked around her and realized that she didn’t know where she was. The place looked like a very improvised room in a very improvised medical station. She heard voices coming her way and looked through the transparent flaps that separated her room from the rest of the tent. Clarke really wasn’t prepared for what she saw.

 

“Clarke? Are you alright?” Abby looked worried and quickly ran to her daughter.

 

“Mom? How are you… How is this… I saw your ship crash.” she could clearly recall the memory, how the ship wasn’t slowing down or deploying parachutes. The explosion that came after it hit the ground.

 

“I wasn’t on it, I’m right here.” Abby wrapped her arms around Clarke.

 

Clarke was too tired to question what was happening, not that she would get the chance to do so, because when her mother released her to look over her bandage a blonde guard came in.

 

“Is she alright?” she didn’t sound actually concerned.

 

“She will be.” Abby retorted without looking at her.

 

“I’m sorry ma’am, we had no idea who she was,” the blonde said while stepping closer to the bed, “where have you been?”

 

“Byrne…” Abby warned.

 

“Mount Weather. ” Clarke tiredly mumbled out.

 

“The grounders took you to Mount Weather?” in this the blonde sounded interested.

 

“No, the mountain men…”

 

“We’re not doing this right now.” Abby cut in.

 

“Yes, ma’am.” with this Byrne turned around and left.

 

“Mom? Did anyone else make it here?”

 

“Yes, 6 of you did.”

 

“Finn and Bellamy?” Clarke sounded hopeful.

 

Abby gave Clarke a smile and nodded quickly. Clarke didn’t even try to hold back the tears that came after and her mom hugged her again after kissing her on the forehead. They were there like this for a couple of minutes, before Clarke’s sobbing subsided and she found the strength to speak again, “Mom?”

 

“Yes, honey?”

 

“Did Anya make it?”

 

“Anya?” Abby sounded confused.

 

“The grounder that I was with. Her name is Anya, is she alive?” Clarke didn’t get her hopes up. The grounder was tough, but she didn’t know exactly where the bullet hit her, so the chance that she was dead was high. Which is why she was pleasantly surprised when she heard her mother answer.

 

“Yes, I just got done patching her up when I came here, she’s lost a lot of blood, so she’s still out. She will be for another day I think.”

 

“Where is she? I think I should be there when she wakes up.” Clarke knew that Anya would be confused when she woke up in a place like this. _I have to be there when she wakes up_ , she thought to herself.

 

“She’s in an airlock, it’s the closest we could get to a prison cell. I don’t think going there would be smart, Clarke.”

 

“I’m pretty sure it would be smarter, than to just let Byrne question her as soon as she wakes up. Please, mom. I know her, let me talk to her first.”

 

“Clarke, these people are dangerous, you said it yourself, I don't want to leave you alone with her.” Abby apparently wasn't convinced.

 

“She saved my life mom, I trust her and I think she trusts me.” Clarke was almost sure of it. _In some weird grounder way, she trusts me._

 

“Okay, but on one condition, she’ll be restrained to her bed. ” Abby said defeatedly.

 

“I know that won't be necessary, but alright.” Clarke just wanted to be there, so she could explain to the grounder where she was and that she's safe. Although she wasn't that sure about the latter, considering how Byrne looked like she was ready to kill someone.

 

Abby then went to explain how Finn went to find Clarke and Clarke explained all about her friends being in Mount Weather. Abby assured her that they would get them out and after that they just sat there for some time, relieved and happy that the other one is alive.

 

Couple of moments later, Jackson brought some water and a towel, so Clarke could wash off at least some of the dirt and blood from her face.  When she was relatively clean, she felt exhaustion taking over her again.

 

“I can see you trying to stay awake Clarke,” Abby chuckled before saying, “sleep, you need to rest, I'll come wake you up if something changes with Anya.”

 

“Thanks.” Clarke managed to get out, already halfway asleep.

 

\---

 

When Clarke woke up again, it was light outside. She assumed that she slept through the whole afternoon and night. She wouldn't even be surprised if that was the case, considering how tired she was the day before. Her head was still pounding, especially in the place where they hit her and her arm was still reminding her that some lead came through it.

 

She didn't feel like sleeping again so she decided to get up. Her legs felt a bit weak and sitting up proved harder than she would've thought. Wincing every time her arm sent a new wave of pain, she eventually managed to sit up and let her feet dangle from the bed. When the throbbing in her arm somewhat weakened, she slowly made to stand on her two legs. Although they were weak from the recent lack of movement, she managed to slowly walk towards the see-through flaps of her room.

 

When she finally, got out of the medical tent, she saw for the first time the entire camp in daylight. It was stunning to see how quickly the camp has been set up, how many tents and the fence that was raised around the area. Two guards were sitting in chairs near the entrance she came out of. She slowly approached them and cleared her throat, “Good morning.”

 

“Good morning Clarke. We were waiting for a chance to speak to you.” The man looked nervous, like he was afraid to talk.

 

“Me? Why?”

 

“It was the two of us who saw and shot at you and the grounder yesterday. We just wanted to say we're sorry, Major Byrne authorized us to shoot any grounder on sight and you didn't look like…”

 

“Wait, wait, wait, slow down. I know what I looked like and I don't blame you. I don't think shooting grounders on sight is a good idea though, so you may want to keep that in mind.” Clarke did kind of blame him, but he already looked so guilty that she didn't want to make him feel any worse.

 

“Thank you,” one of them said with relief evident in his voice, “if there's anything I can do for you…”

 

“Actually there is. Can you take me to the grounder that was with me yesterday?”

 

“Eh, I don't know if I am allowed to do that. But since I shot you, I guess I kind of owe you huh?”

 

“Yes, you kind of do.” Clarke said with a small smile.

 

“Allright, follow me.” the guard stood up and started walking towards the remnants of the Ark. He nodded to another guard, a woman guarding the entrance and made his way inside, with Clarke right on his heels. Couple of hallways and metal doors later, they reached the airlock. In front of the metal and glass doors there was a guard and behind them was visible a bed with someone lying on it. The guard stopped and turned to Clarke, “Okay, here we are, I guess I'll leave you to it. If you ever need anything else just ask for me, the name's Allan Tenner. Sorry again for the whole ‘shooting you in the arm’ thing”

 

“Thanks Allan and again, it's fine.” Clarke gave him a weak smile. The fact that he looked like he felt really bad about the whole thing made it hard to actually blame him. She just hoped she could find her way out of here without him.

 

“I'm sorry, but who are you?” came a voice from the airlock door. Clarke turned and saw the guard standing there give her a questioning look.

 

“You can go Allan, I'll stay here.” Clarke turned to him briefly. He nodded and left the room. Clarke turned back around and stepped closer to the airlock,  “I'm Clarke Griffin.”

 

“You're the one they brought back yesterday with the grounder here.” It wasn't a question, but Clarke still nodded. “What are you doing here? I don't think she's expecting any visitors.”

 

“I just want to see my friend. Can you let me in?” _Are we friends? We don’t hate each other now, at least. I think?_ She really wasn't expecting him to say yes, but it was worth a shot.

 

“Yes, Mrs. Griffin told me that you are allowed to see her, but I'm supposed to let her know when you show up here.” The guard said in what Clarke thought was the most bored, unamused voice she ever heard.

 

“So, let me in and let her know?” Clarke really didn't see a problem here.

 

“Don't try to loose up her shackles, she has them for a reason.” he said as he turned around, pressed some button and the door to the airlock slowly opened.

 

“Sure.” Clarke muttered as she stepped past him into the airlock.

 

As soon as she was inside, the door started closing again and she saw the guard pull out his radio, though she couldn't make out what he was saying due to to how thick the doors were and the comms being turned off. She turned around and finally got a good look at Anya.

 

She was lying there, with an oxygen mask on her face, bound to the bed with some plastic shackles. Her arm where she had bitten out the tracker was bandaged and there was a thick gauze secured right over and below her collarbone. Her face was still covered in dried out mud and blood from their fight earlier. There was a basin with water in it next to her bed though and she saw a clean towel lying near it, so she picked it up, soaked it with water and sat down on the edge of bed. She gently started running it over Anya’s face.

 

She kept going until her friend looked somewhat clean and found it amusing how the blonde didn't look as terrifying without any war paint or mud covering her face. _Kind of cute, actually._ She rolled her eyes at herself. _Oh, shut it Griffin._ She quickly shook away such thoughts and stood up. She started thinking about what she was going to tell Anya once she woke up when she noticed her mother standing behind the airlock door. Abby said something to the guard and he moved to open the door.

 

“I thought I told you to rest.” Abby sighed as she stepped into the room.

 

“I’ve rested enough,” Clarke said as she moved to sit on the bed again, “besides, I wanted to check on Anya, see how she’s doing”

 

“I told you I would wake you up if something changed with her.”

 

“I just wanted to see her, mom.” Clarke looked at Anya when she felt stirring beside her. It stopped as soon as it started and Anya still didn’t look like she would be waking up soon. Clarke felt her stomach growl and turned to her mom, “Can we go get something to eat? I haven’t eaten in a while.”

 

“Of course.”

 

As they left the Ark, Clarke saw Raven sitting by the entrance. As soon as she spotted them she stood up, supporting her weight by the crutch she was holding.

 

“Hi.” she happily greeted Clarke.

 

“Hey.” Clarke moved to hug her, while Abby moved towards another tent. When Clarke released her, she looked down on Raven’s leg and saw the brace on it, “Raven, I…”

 

“Sucks, but I’m dealing with it.”

 

“We just went to get something to eat, you want to join us?”

 

"Sure thing, if you don't mind walking slowly."

 

"Not at all." Clarke smiled.

 

They slowly made their way towards one of the tents, where Raven quickly filled Clarke in on what happened while she was gone. How Bellamy and Finn left to look for other station survivors just a couple hours before she was found. How her crutches were unbearable and she had to start using the brace Wick made for her. Clarke then explained how she sent Anya to the commander. They stayed there for about an hour, before Clarke made her way back to the airlock.

 

After the guard opened the door for her, she sat down on the bed again and looked at Anya. Her breathing seemed to somewhat even out and she looked calmer than before. She would surely wake up soon. Abby seemed to think so as well because she entered the room just a couple of minutes later.

 

"She got lucky the bullet went straight through. One of her lungs collapsed and if we didn't help her immediately, she wouldn't make it. How do you two know each other anyway?" Abby asked.

 

"Lincoln set up a meeting with her. I tried to negotiate peace. It didn't go well," Clarke frowned when she thought back on their meeting at the bridge, "Jasper fired the first shot, but he said he saw them preparing to attack."

 

Just as Abby was about to say something, her eyes darted to the lying grounder. Clarke's eyes followed right after and she saw her friend starting to stir.

 

"Mom, could you leave us alone? I think it's better if I talk to her first." Clarke asked hoping that her mother would understand.

 

"I suppose, just don't take off her restraints yet, okay?" Abby looked worried.

 

"Fine, but I'm telling you she wouldn't hurt me." Clarke hoped she wouldn't.

 

"Better safe than sorry. Alright, I'm going to leave now." Abby turned around and as she left the room she motioned for the guard to close the door.

 

“Weron… Weron kamp ai...Weron kamp ai raun?” Anya rasped.

 

“Anya, thank god.” Clarke breathed out.

 

“Clarke… What happened, where am I?” Anya started looking around, obviously confused. Confusion started turning to anger when she noticed the plastic restraints that were binding her to the bed, “What is this?”

 

“Anya wait, let me explain everything.”

 

“I’m not… agh…” Anya groaned when she tried to sit and disturbed her bandaged wound.

 

Clarke gently pushed her down by the shoulder, “Please Anya, you were shot, you need to lie still.” She expected her to protest and so was surprised when she relented and lied down. “Thank you, now please hear me out.”

 

Anya glared at Clarke with her eyebrows set in a frown.

 

“You’re in our camp.” Clarke began. “Some of our guards saw us when we got close and thought us threats,” she showed Anya her bandaged arm, “they didn’t shoot just you.”

 

“So I’m your prisoner now?”

 

“No! I mean, I don’t know. Now you’re injured, so that comes first. And I won’t let them interrogate them you.” Clarke wanted to make this easier for Anya.

 

“You aren’t the leader of your people.”

 

“But my mother is the chancellor. I told her about our plan. How I sent you to talk to your commander. You would still go, right?” Clarke was worried that this incident would make Anya change her mind.

 

\---

 

Anya looked at Clarke. The blonde was looking at her, her blue eyes hopeful and desperate at the same time. _Damn it._ “Yes. I would still go and talk to her.”

 

“Thank you, thank you so much.” Clarke exhaled and laid her hand on Anya’s forearm. Anya found the gesture strangely comforting. But then again, she found everything about the young blonde comforting. If this was anyone else in the room with her, she would have found her way out of her restraints and strangled him with them.

 

“Can you take these off?”

  
“I was told not to, so yeah, I think I can do that. ” Anya wanted to thank her but before she could open her mouth, Clarke was speaking again, "But, you have to promise to lie still. You were shot, it's going to take some time to heal."

 

"I promise." Anya knew she wouldn't achieve anything by protesting and she was aware that she was too injured to try something. _Besides, we're trying to achieve peace, right?_  


"Thanks." Clarke smiled as she went to remove her restraints. Once her hands were free, Clarke moved to her legs, but stopped before she could release them. "Maybe I should keep these on for now. My mom isn't going to be happy as it is."  


"I understand."

 

"Okay, for now do you want anything? Some water or food? Surely you must be hungry." Clarke sat back on  Anya’s bed.

 

Anya’s stomach chose that time to remind her how long she hadn’t had proper food and grumbled. Clarke chuckled lightly and Anya gave her a small, almost invisible smile. “Something to eat would be nice.”

 

“I can hear that. I’ll go get something.” Clarke lightly caressed Anya’s forearm and stood up from the bed. She walked over to the door and motioned for the guard to open the door for her. When Clarke got through the door she heard her say, “Leave her alone, I’m going…” before the voices trailed off as Clarke, with some older woman beside her, got further from the room and the door started closing.

 

Anya laid there alone and only now started fully noticing the room around her. There was a small table next to her bed with some dirty rag on it. She tried to sit up, but the wound close to her shoulder convinced her otherwise. She just hoped that Clarke wouldn’t take long. Something about the younger blonde made her feel safer than she probably actually was.

 

\---

 

Couple of minutes later, Clarke returned holding a tray with a plate and a white cup on it. She smiled at Anya as she sat the tray on her and sat down on the bed again. “It’s the stuff we ate on the Ark. The meat is synthetic so it doesn’t taste as good as the real thing, but it’s better than nothing. The water is just plain filtered water.”

 

“Syn… synthetic? And filtered? I am lost Clarke.” Anya looked confused.

 

“Right, sorry.” Clarke laughed lightly, “How do I explain this? Filtered just means ‘cleaned’ and synthetic means it doesn’t come from an animal.”

 

Anya eyed the meat and then Clarke suspiciously, “Does not come from an animal? How is that possible?”

 

“Well, we didn’t have animals on the Ark, so one of the stations had to, I guess you could say grow the meat alone.”

 

“So it sprouts from the ground? Like trees? Or it grows on some trees?” Anya asked incredulously .

 

“No, it’s…” Clarke started and then smiled, “tell you what, you eat and drink, focus on getting stronger and then when we get our people from the mountain, one of ours can explain everything about it.”

 

“Are you sure it’s safe?” Anya still didn’t look convinced.

 

“Absolutely, I ate it my whole life and I’m just fine.” Clarke smiled brightly.

 

_Yes, you are. Oh, shof op Anya, not now._ Anya gave Clarke a small smile and looked at the food again before moving to pick up a piece of this ‘synthetic’ meat. Clarke stopped her with her hand before she could take it.

 

“What?”

 

“I just thought you could use this instead of hands.” Clarke said, taking out a knife and a fork out of her jacket. “My mom knows that your hands are free, so she obviously doesn’t want you near anything that could be used as a weapon. So logically I had to bring you two things that could be used like that. You use knife and a fork, right?” Clarke extended her hand and laid the tools next to the plate.

 

If this was anyone else, Anya would have been offended, but she felt like Clarke was not mocking her and instead was worried that she assumed too much. “Yes Clarke, we use knife and a fork.” Anya said taking the knife in her right hand and the fork in her left.

 

“Okay, you should eat now, my mom will want to talk to you later.”

 

“Can’t wait.” Anya muttered under her breath. Clarke laughed at her comment and Anya didn’t even find it in her to chastise herself for thinking how beautiful Clarke’s laugh was.

 

After she was done with the food, occasionally sipping her water, she looked out the door and saw an older woman, the same one that left with Clarke, whom she assumed was Clarke’s mother. The woman was looking at her with wide eyes and Anya realized it was because of the knife in her hand, so she thanked Clarke and handed the knife with the fork back.

 

“So I think you noticed my mother standing behind the door.” Clarke said.

 

“She did not look very happy about the knife you brought me.”

 

“No, she didn’t.” Clarke sighed looking at Anya.

 

Anya noticed how Clarke seemed to be focused on her lips, “What?”

 

“You have something there.”

 

Before Anya could ask for the rag beside her bed, Clarke was reaching out and swiped her thumb over the corner of Anya’s mouth. Anya didn’t know what to do, so she just stared at Clarke. Clarke stayed with the tips of her fingers touching Anya’s cheek for a heartbeat, before she quickly withdraw her hand, standing up in the process.

 

Anya noticed Clarke’s blushed cheeks as the younger blonde stood up and hoped that Clarke didn’t see the blood rushing in Anya’s face. Clarke moved a bit from the bed before speaking, “So, I guess I can bring my mom here? She wanted to talk you.” Clarke said obviously flustered.

 

“Of course.” Anya replied, still a bit shocked herself, still feeling where Clarke’s fingertips rested for a short while.

 

Clarke nodded and walked to the airlock door. She motioned with her head for her mother to enter and the woman walked in after the door opened again.

 

“I think introductions are in order. Clarke?” Anya had to admit that the woman had a decently authoritative voice.

 

“Right, so mom, this is Anya,” she motioned with her hand towards the lying grounder, “Anya, this is my mother, Abby Griffin, chancellor of the Ark and our people’s main healer.”

 

“It is good to meet you chancellor.” Anya knew that calling Abby by her title was a sign of respect. And they both needed to show respect if they wanted an alliance.

 

“Likewise, Anya.” Abby nodded.

 

“What did you want to talk about?”

 

“Well, first of all I wanted to apologize for what happened. Major Byrne authorized the guards to shoot on sight, but no such thing was discussed with me. I just wanted you know that it was never my intention to go out of my way to hurt your people.”

 

“I believe you.” _Maybe._

 

"And I came as your doctor, not only as the chancellor." Abby continued, "So let's see how

you're doing before we talk about anything else."

 

After a couple of minutes of Abby inspecting the wounds on Anya's arm and below her collarbone, and asking, "Does this hurt?" while pressing on certain spots near the wounds, Abby conducted that Anya is recovering well and will be good to go in about two days. "Now that we've got that out of the way, let's talk about Mount Weather."

 

"Very well, I am listening."

 

"Clarke already told me about our people being held there. I agree with her decision to work together to save them. Will you still be willing to go to your commander?”

 

“Do not worry chancellor, I will go talk to her as soon as I will be released.”

 

“Thank you Anya.”

 

“Don’t thank me yet. Your daughter burned three hundred of my warriors alive, my commander may not want an alliance.”

 

Abby looked at Clarke with wide eyes, while Clarke looked anywhere but in her mother’s eyes. It took a couple of moments before Abby turned her attention back to Anya. “I’m certain she had no other choice. As for your release, you’re free to go whenever you like. You are not a prisoner here. I would just recommend staying for at least two days, so you can heal a bit.”

 

“Not a prisoner?” Anya said sitting up, trying to ignore the pain near her shoulder, “Then why am I bound to my bed? Let us speak honestly, I am a prisoner of war, I will be released only to deliver a message to my commander.”

 

“Actually, no.” Abby replied, nodding at Clarke who promptly started removing the restraints on Anya’s feet, “You aren’t allowed to move freely around camp, but you can leave whenever you want. I wouldn’t recommend you doing so right now however.”

 

Clarke removed the last shackle and Anya was left speechless. She expected to be a prisoner, to be held here and questioned, released only to send a message. Such thing would be expected if another clan captured her, if there wasn’t peace thanks to Heda. These people seemed way more peaceful however. Either that, or Clarke interfered so Anya wouldn't be put to interrogation. Anya had a feeling that was the case.

 

“You will not regret this chancellor.”

 

“I hope I won’t.” Abby looked at Clarke, “I have to go now, Jackson needs me in medical.” She said as she left the room, leaving Clarke alone with the grounder.

 

Anya lied back down and glanced at Clarke who was smiling in the direction her mother left. The smile was a grateful one, which confirmed Anya’s feeling about Clarke’s interference. “Why do you trust me Clarke?.”

 

At hearing the grounder’s voice, Clarke turned around. “You saved my life.”

 

“I couldn’t come empty-handed before my commander.” Anya knew it wasn’t the reason. She was the first one to ever escape the mountain, that would have been enough for Lexa. But she wasn’t going to say that to Clarke.

 

“Yet you were willing to,” Clarke smiled knowingly, “when I asked you to go speak to her.” Anya stayed silent so Clarke continued, “I trust you because I believe that you want peace, you have shown me that before we got shot. You may want to tell me that you just agreed to cooperate, but I felt like you wanted peace, like you were sick of war. We had a rough start Anya, I know that. I know that you may hate me for burning your warriors alive and I wouldn’t blame you. But I just want you to know that everyday I wish I had another choice. I wish I didn’t have to...” Clarke was on verge of tears now, when she thought back on her steps out of the dropship. How different it was from the first time she stepped out of it. Instead of soft ground and the smell of the forest, beneath her was dry ash and scorched bones and around her was just the smell of death. And the pile of black bones where she last saw Finn...

 

“I don’t hate you Clarke.” Anya snapped Clarke out of her haze, “I cannot hate you for trying to survive. I see that starting a war was never your intention. And you should know that it was never my intention either.”

 

“But you attacked us, the day we arrived…”

 

“Clarke,” Anya cut her off, “it was not us. Our people would not attack without an order. And I gave none. It was reapers or rogues. You forced my hand when you captured Lincoln. We had to attack then.”

 

"We didn't know..." Clarke said, as a single tear escaped her eye.  
  
"I know Clarke."  
  
After a couple of minutes, Clarke somewhat calmed down and spoke up again, "You still haven't told me why you saved me."  
  
"You freed me from the mountain. No one ever escaped from it. Enemies or not, I couldn't leave you there."  
  
Anya wondered to herself what they were now. Were they still enemies? If not enemies, what then? Allies? _Friends?_ Anya hoped that if they weren't now, they could be in the future. Granted the commander accepted the alliance. _She will have to accept it. We cannot leave our people there and we can’t get them out without these sky people._

 

“Thank you.” Clarke looked at her with bright eyes and a grateful smile. Before Anya could reply, she spoke again, “So, when will you leave?”

 

“Tomorrow, perhaps. I do not wish to stay here longer than necessary, your people may not agree to me not being a prisoner.”

 

“No, probably not. I had to stop Byrne from putting you through interrogation.”

 

“Byrne?”

 

“Yeah, she’s Major here.”

 

“Major?” Anya said lightly, “You continue to confuse me, Clarke.”

 

“General, then.” Clarke chuckled.

 

“Finally a word I understand.” Anya paused for a moment before continuing, “To be honest Clarke, I expected to be interrogated.”

 

“I know. But I didn’t think it would be a good start to an alliance.”

 

“Many alliances here started like that.” _Most of them._

 

"I just want your commander to see that we are serious about cooperation. And maybe peace, after that?" Clarke looked up with a hopeful look in her eyes.

 

"Prove yourself to her and you may have your peace." Anya knew that Lexa wouldn't be opposed to peace, if these people helped defeating the mountain.

 

"We will do whatever it takes." Clarke nodded with a serious look on her face. It was clear to Anya that she just wanted to stop the killing. That Clarke took every death seriously and wasn't some warmonger. She just hoped the same could be said of the other sky people. For both their sakes.

 

"I know you will." Anya said.

 

Clarke just looked at her for a couple of seconds before speaking, “I think I’m going to go, it’s getting late and we both need to sleep.”

 

"I am getting somewhat tired as well." Anya nodded.

 

"Well, you should be, you lost a lot of blood and you’ve been awake for quite some time now." Clarke looked at her wrist and frowned, "I’ll leave you to rest then. The door is going to close behind me, but if you at any point want to leave, just knock on it. The guard has been told to let you out. He’s also been told to follow you everywhere, I hope you don’t mind."

 

“I expected that Clarke.” They would be insane if they just let her walk freely.

 

Clarke nodded and stood up from the bed and walked over to the door. "Goodnight, Anya." She knocked on the glass and the door started opening after a moment.

 

"Sleep well, Clarke." Anya said and Clarke looked back at her with a smile before walking out of the room.

 

A few seconds later, the door closed again and Anya was alone. She wanted nothing more than to sleep right now, but she felt nature calling her. Carefully getting out of her bed, she slowly made her way to the door. She knocked on it and saw the guard sitting behind it startle a little, before he opened it for her.

 

"What?" He asked quickly, his hand never leaving some metal tube hooked on his belt.

 

"Can I go outside? I need to relieve myself." Anya hated feeling this weak, hated having to ask for everything, but she knew she had to swallow her pride at least a little bit if she was to work with these people.

 

"Outside?” he scoffed, “It's cold outside and the bathrooms are just around the corner. Come on, I'll take you there.” he gestured with his head for Anya to follow him.

 

They slowly made their way through a couple of metal hallways when the guard stopped before a metal door. He reached for the handle and opened it for her, “Women only, I can’t go in, but I think you’ll figure out how to work a toilet.”

  
Anya wanted to say that they had toilets, in Polis at least, but she really didn’t want to talk to this guard more than necessary. After she was done, the guard took her back to her room and closed the door behind her. She carefully climbed on her bed and laid on her back. Sleep came easy for her, as she was tired from being awake for so long after her fresh injury, and her head was still dizzy from her fight with Clarke. And when she woke up the next morning, she didn’t remember dreaming of the forest, of her home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you like it! Let me know if you hate it! (Bonus points for telling me what exactly you hate.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anya's healing process, Finn's fuck-up and the arrival of the Grounder army.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to skid through the parts you can watch on the show, so my work will hopefully be mostly original (no promises though)

At first, she saw one flame, faintly moving in the darkness. But when it suddenly moved to the left and one flame became two, her mind was filling with dread. She watched in horror, as soon, the flames could be counted by dozens and the other Arkers behind her started panicking.

 

“They're here.” Clarke heard Jaha say behind her.

 

\---

 

_ 86 hours ago _

 

Noises and voices woke Anya up, but she didn’t open her eyes right away. She wanted to hear if the voices, which she recognized as Clarke’s and Abby’s, talked about her, or anything that might have concerned her.

 

“She wants to leave today.” Anya heard Clarke speak.

 

“That’s too early. She won’t be strong enough to make it to… where is she going, exactly?.” Abby replied.

 

“To her commander, that’s all she told me. And no, I’m not going to try to find out where that is. And not strong enough?” Clarke scoffed, “Anya is the strongest Grounder I know. The strongest person I know.” Anya had to stop herself from smiling at hearing Clarke defend her.

 

“That may be true, but it’s an unnecessary risk. We need her to make it to her commander alive.”

 

Anya heard Clarke sigh, “We need her alive.” Clarke paused for a moment before speaking up again, “I will try to talk her into staying for one more day.”

 

They were silent for a few seconds, after which Abby spoke up, “Let me know when she wakes up, I’ll want to check up on her, see how she’s doing.”

 

“Sure.”

 

“I’m awake, Chancellor.” Anya opened her eyes.

 

Clarke and Abby looked at Anya with curious expressions before Clarke smiled and they both moved to her bed, Abby closer to Anya with Clarke right beside her mother.

 

“Well, that’s good, at least we can see how you’re healing.” Abby began looking over her injuries.

 

“I feel better, now that I had a chance to sleep.” Anya said honestly.

 

“That’s good.” Abby peeled of the bandage from her collarbone and inspected the wound.

 

“How does it look?”

 

“Well, this one is not infected.” Abby moved her attention to Anya’s left arm and removed the bandage there. “And somehow, this one’s not either.” Abby shaked her head with a smile.

 

“So I can leave today?”

 

“We’ll see after we’re done, okay?” After seeing Anya nod, Abby continued, “Your nose is bruised and you may experience some headaches and dizziness. If you do, just tell Clarke and she’ll give you something for the pain. You have a couple of stitches on your arm from where you…” Abby cleared her throat, “removed, the tracker. There are a couple more stitches below your collarbone from the gunshot, which is healing really well, considering how fresh it is, but I would recommend keeping it bandaged for at least one more week.” Abby started reapplying the dressing, while Clarke quickly ran out of the room.

 

“Thank you Chancellor.”

 

“I’m just doing my duty as a doctor.”

 

Anya simply nodded and let Abby continue. Mere seconds after she was done, Clarke came back in the room, much like the previous day, holding a tray with food and water. Anya lightly smiled at her and after Clarke returned the smile, she sat the tray on the table next to her bed.

 

\---

 

“Initiated evacuation plan 2A. Report to your station supervisor for further instructions.”

 

Clarke heard the voice on the public speaker. But she was frozen, for a couple of seconds, she just couldn’t move from where she was standing, couldn’t tear away her eyes from the flames flickering in the distance.

 

“Let’s take this inside.” Abby said, at which Clarke quickly nodded and the three of them started walking towards the remnants of Alpha station.

 

\---

 

_ 85 hours ago _

 

After Anya finished eating her breakfast, Clarke talked her into staying for one more day, just for her safety. Anya really wanted to leave already, but she had to admit to herself that while she was feeling better, she still felt weak. One condition she had for staying however, was that she could go for a walk later, as she was getting sick of the air inside her room. Clarke agreed, with her own condition that she would go out with her. Clarke then grabbed the food tray and took it away.

 

“The Commander will want to speak with you.” Anya said when Clarke returned and sat in the chair that she brought with her.

 

“With me? I’m not chancellor.” Clarke replied, sounding somewhat confused.

 

“But you’re the one who saved me from the mountain.”

 

Clarke exhaled and her brow furrowed, “So what should I expect?”

 

“Well, her personal guard is going to threaten you. His name is Gustus. You have to show confidence in front of him. Not too much confidence however, then he might think that you think yourself to be above Heda. Don’t let yourself be intimidated by him, but let yourself be intimidated by her.”

 

“Got it.”

 

Anya nodded and continued, “Indra will probably be nearby as well. She is the leader of TonDC. Don’t give her a reason to not trust you.”

 

“I’ll try not to.”

 

“And then there’s Lexa, the Commander herself. My former second. She is a strong and a smart leader. A good fighter and a caring commander. Heda in our language. She will be wearing paint. Just hope that it’s two black stripes from her eyes to her temples. That is warpaint meant for negotiations and diplomatic missions. Black stripes with three black tears running down on either side means warpaint for battle and war.”

 

“What should I do? Should I kneel? How do I talk to her?”

 

“Talk to her like you talked to me on the bridge. She’ll appreciate your honesty and confidence. Just don’t extend your arm like you did with me. Someone might cut it off. But if you want to try and impress her, I would have an idea.” Anya smirked.

 

“What?” Clarke returned the smirk.

 

“You could try learning something from our language. Some basic introduction.”  _ Leksa will appreciate the effort. _

 

“That’s… not a bad idea, actually. So what should I say?”

 

“Well, you should be able to introduce yourself at least. Let me start.” Anya cleared her throat, “I laik Onya kom Trikru. It means ‘I am Anya of the Tree People.’ You would say ‘I laik Klark kom Skaikru’, try it.”

 

“I leik Klark kam Skaikru.” Clarke tried, trying maybe too hard with her accent.

 

“Laik, not leik and kom, not kam. Ease on the accent. Try again.”

 

After couple more tries, Clarke seemed to get the hang of it and Anya couldn’t stop thinking about how good her native language sounded coming from the blue-eyed blonde’s lips. “Good. After that, Heda would say probably say ‘I laik Leksa kom Trikru.’ That is her introduction. Then, let’s say she would ask you ‘Chit yu gaf?’ That means ‘What do you want?’ Try saying that a couple times.”

 

“Chit yu kaf?” Clarke said hesitantly.

 

“Gaf.” Anya corrected.

 

“Gaf. Chit yu gaf.”

 

“Very good.” Anya was proud. Clarke seemed to be a natural with her language. “Want to try something harder?”

 

“Sure.” Clarke smiled.

 

“ Ai gaf oso throu Maun-de daun ogeda in. ”

 

Clarke’s eyes widened and Anya had to laugh at the sight. “Little slower, maybe?” Clarke laughed as well.

 

“Well, ‘Ai gaf’ is ‘I want’. ‘Oso’ means ‘we’ or ‘us’. ‘Throu Maun-de daun’ means ‘fight the mountain’ and ‘ogeda’ means ‘together’. The ‘in’ at the end belongs to ‘gaf’, but you don’t need to say it. All together, it means…”

 

“I want us to fight the mountain together.” Clarke cut in and smiled.

 

“Exactly. So, try it.”

 

“Ai gaf… oso… what was the rest?” Clarke asked, obviously lost.

 

“Oso throu Maun-de daun ogeda in.”

 

“Ai gaf oso throu daun-de… wait, that’s not right.” Clarke laughed.

 

\---

 

“They’re not attacking yet, which means we still have time.” Clarke tried to sound confident, somewhat succeeding.

 

“We have two hours until dawn.” Abby said, placing her hands on the table in front of them.

 

_ When did everything go so wrong?  _ Clarke thought to herself.  _ When Finn decided to massacre a village for you. _

 

\---

 

_ 81 hours ago _

 

After lunch, Anya decided that she just couldn’t take being inside any longer. With Clarke’s help, she got off from her bed and they slowly made their way outside. Because she was lying in bed for so long, she would sometimes trip over her own feet and stumble and whenever she did so, Clarke quickly caught her by her arm and then placed her palm on Anya’s lower back, and held her for some time, probably to make sure she didn’t trip again. And Anya didn’t mind. She really didn’t.

 

As they were making their way along the fence, Anya was teaching Clarke some more words from her language, “Good, Clarke. Again.”

 

“Oh, I know that. It’s… ehm… Os, Klark…” she looked at Anya uncertain. Anya nodded in encouragement and she continued, “Nodotaim?”

 

“You learn quickly.” Anya said proudly. Clarke really wasn’t a bad student.

 

“Mochof, Onya.” Clarke grinned.

 

“Too quickly, maybe.” Anya laughed.

 

“You’re a good teacher.” Clarke shrugged, but kept smiling.

 

“Try translating that.”

 

“I don’t know know how to say ‘teacher’ though.”

 

“Ticha.”

 

“Figures,” Clarke mumbled under her breath, “Yu bilaik os ticha?”

 

Anya smiled at Clarke as they stopped before the gate. She looked back to the Ark and she saw people staring at her, whispering to each other. Some looked angry, some looked scared. “They don’t look happy that I am here.”

 

“They don’t know you.” Clarke looked over the people.

 

“They don’t look like they want to know me.” Anya didn’t know why she felt sad at the thought of not being accepted. It’s not like she belonged here.

 

“Well, they don’t know what they’re missing on.” Clarke smirked.

 

On the outside, Anya only quirked a brow at Clarke’s comment. On the inside however, she was beaming at hearing the younger blonde praise her. She still didn’t know why she felt so comfortable around her. They were trying to kill each other just a couple days ago, after all. Maybe Anya was just grateful that Clarke saved her from the mountain.  _ Maybe not just that. _

 

“Are we friends, Clarke?” She didn’t want to blurt it out like this. She also didn’t want to sound so hopeful when she asked, but her mouth seemed to have a mind of its own.

 

“I… hope?” It came out more as a question, “I mean, I feel like we are, but,” Clarke sighed, “maybe it’s just the time-out we got from the real world for these few days.”

 

“There is no reason we couldn’t remain friends in the real world.” At this point, Anya wanted to punch herself for speaking so quickly without thinking.  _ War is not good enough reason for you? _

 

“I can think of some reasons if your commander doesn’t take the deal.”

 

Anya nodded but stayed silent.  _ She has to take it. There is no other way to free our people, than to ally ourselves with the Skaikru. _ The technology they brought down with them was certainly impressive, if her recovery was anything to go by. Very few of her people survived getting shot by guns, and the Chancellor made it look like it wasn’t anything difficult.

 

“How’s your shoulder?” Clarke broke her out of her daydream.

 

“It’s better than yesterday.” Anya replied truthfully.

 

“But it still hurts, huh?” After seeing Anya nod, Clarke continued, “Do you want something for the pain?”

 

“If I could…” Anya tried tentatively.

 

“Of course you could.” Clarke put her hand on Anya’s back, “Come on, let’s get you something from medical.”

 

\---

 

“Let me talk to the Commander. She was Anya’s second and if Anya is there as well, I know she’ll listen.”

 

“We don’t even know if the Commander is here.” Jaha retorted.

 

“Yes we do,” Finn cut in, “Nyko told us. You have to at least let her try.”

 

\---

 

_ 61 hours ago _

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes Clarke. I’ve told you I am strong enough to make my way to Polis.” Anya said lightly, amused at the young blonde’s concern.

 

“Okay, just checking. You know you’re welcome to stay one day more, maybe two.”

 

“I think we’ve been hiding from the real world for long enough.”

 

“Yeah, I guess we have. I’m glad though. I liked spending time with you.” Clarke immediately shook her head, “I mean it was good getting to know you. Like you, you, not ready to kill me you. Am I making any sense?”

 

“I know what you mean.” Anya smiled, “I…” she paused, looking for the right words, “I feel the same way.”

 

“So, when will we know if the commander took the deal?” Clarke changed the subject.

 

“Soon. Three days, perhaps four. The journey isn’t long and hopefully we won’t have to take an army back with us.”

 

Clarke’s eyes widened when she heard the word ‘army’ and she visibly gulped. “Yeah, hopefully. We’ll try to lay low, but I will have to go out and find the group my mom sent out to find me.”

 

Anya nodded, “Stay out of trouble, Clarke.”

 

“I’ll do my best.” Clarke smiled. “And thank you, Anya. You have no idea how grateful I am, that you are willing to talk to your commander on our behalf.”

 

“You have nothing to thank me for. We need you just as much as you need us. I know Heda will see that.”

 

"If  _ you _ trained her, then I'm sure she will." Clarke grinned and Anya shook her head, but at the same time just couldn't hide how the corners of her own lips tugged upwards.   
  
Anya glanced at the hulking metal giant behind Clarke and felt relieved that she wouldn't have to stay there for any longer. While she was thinking how relieved she was, however, she felt something else as well, something like sadness. But surely that wasn't the case, why would she miss the unnatural monstrosity that was the Ark? That couldn't be the case. It wasn't until much, much later, when she realized she didn't feel bad about leaving the Ark. Because she didn't. Not at all. But a certain blonde that made sure Anya almost felt welcome there, even though she wasn't. The young, blue-eyed girl, that spent every possible moment with Anya, so she wouldn't feel so alone there. She was the one and only reason why Anya felt even a bit bad about leaving. But she shouldn't feel bad. They were very possibly still enemies. Clarke burned her people alive. Thrice. She tortured her warrior. Anya might have some respect for her for beating her in combat - although she was underfed and weakened, she didn't expect Clarke to put up much of a fight - but she should resent her, surely.

 

Except she couldn't. When they talked about this, Anya saw no hate in Clarke's eyes. No malevolent intent, no want for war. All she saw was regret. It was clear that Clarke hated herself for having to make a choice like this.  _ You do what you have to, to survive. Just like us. _

 

Anya looked Clarke in the eyes and extended her hand, much like Clarke did when they first saw each other, except with her palm twisted a bit more upwards.

 

Clarke mirrored her gaze and slowly raised her hand as well, firmly grasping Anya’s forearm, “May we meet again.”

 

Anya slowly nodded, “May we meet again. Find your people that are still out there and stay in here until we arrive.”

 

Clarke smiled a reassuring smile and released Anya’s arm. Anya returned her smile, before turning around and walking away.

 

\---

 

“Abby we’re wasting time,” Jaha said defeatedly, “give me the authority. Now.” and impatiently.

 

“Hold on.” Abby sounded unwavered, “Clarke, you said that Lincoln is going through withdrawal. We don’t even know what he’s withdrawing from. The detox alone could kill him.”

 

“That’s where you come in.”

 

“And if I can’t save him?”

 

“That’s not an option.”

 

\---

 

_ 60 hours ago _

 

After Clarke saw Anya disappear in the trees, she quickly turned around and started looking for her mother. She unsurprisingly found her in the medical bay talking with Jackson and dragged her away from the conversation. When every one of Clarke’s attempts for permission to go out and look for Finn and Bellamy was promptly shut down, she was beginning to grow desperate. But just as she was about to ask for what felt like the hundredth time, she heard some commotion coming from the direction of the main gate.

 

“Bellamy…” she breathed out as she saw him come into view, along with Octavia, Monroe and some other girl. She quickly ran over to the group and hugged both Bellamy and Octavia, while Abby took the girl they brought back to medical. After greeting the Blake siblings, Clarke was informed that Finn was still out there, looking for her.

 

Clarke’s first instinct was of course to go out to look for him, but as it turns out, even with Bellamy’s help, Abby wouldn’t budge. So, Clarke had to do the only thing she could. Ask Raven to help her sneak out. Raven was, as expected, more than willing to help, providing their little group with firearms, ‘a couple extra clips’ and a safe way out through the electric fence.

 

\---

 

“We are risking everything on a bluff, Abby?” Jaha said incredulously, “We have an out. We have a way to save the lives of our people.” he continued matter-of-factly.

 

“Not all of them.” Finn countered.

 

“We will come back, to save the kids inside Mount Weather.” Jaha stood up, his voice rising.

 

“We all know, that’s not gonna happen.”

 

“Abby this has gone on long enough.” Jaha spoke, as he moved closer to Abby, “If you do not give the order to begin the Exodus, you are killing us all.”

 

\---

 

_ 39 hours ago _

 

Clarke was walking through the forest, talking with Bellamy. She knew they were close, Octavia said so when they reached the monument. But when she heard gunshots, blood froze in her veins. Bellamy told her about Finn, how he executed the man who helped them, but she didn’t want to believe it. Maybe he was an asshole, who cheated on his girlfriend, but he wasn’t a murderer. Not the Finn she knew.

 

They broke down into a sprint and with every step and every bounce off the ground, Clarke prayed that this wasn’t Finn. But the gunfire wasn’t stopping. The gunfire wasn’t stopping and when they finally reached the village, she saw what it caused. Bodies lying everywhere, pools of blood below them. And Finn standing there, gun in his hands, smiling at her.

 

She slowly walked towards him, but she didn’t look at him. Her eyes were darting from one body to another, her heart breaking more and more for every one of the dead. She didn’t see a single weapon. Not one sword or a knife. No bows, or arrows dropped on the ground. Just death. Children. Men and women alike. She saw Octavia run towards one of them, but she didn’t pay attention to it. Her eyes looked to another one. A man, somewhere in his sixties, with a short, almost white beard. And another one. Woman, this time, maybe in her thirties, with a tattoo running from just above her eyebrow, down below her lips. Another boy, young one, that couldn’t have been older than 15. When she finally couldn’t look at the bodies, her gaze shifted to him. He kept holding on to his gun, smile still on his lips. She saw him say something, but she couldn’t hear him over the sound of her heart, beating wildly in her chest.

 

_ What did you do? _

 

The walk back to Camp Jaha was eerily quiet and Clarke was certain that no one so much as looked at Finn. She certainly didn’t. Bellamy seemed almost scared.  _ Of him or for him? _ Octavia looked ready to pounce on him and kill him. Murphy was trying to appear unfazed, but Clarke recognized the disgust in his eyes. When they returned, Clarke of course received a verbal lashing from her mother, but the attention quickly shifted from her to Finn when Bellamy interrupted to say what happened. Abby dismissed everyone except Finn and Murphy, and Clarke found herself going straight to the makeshift bar, that was set up in front of the Ark.

 

She drank with Bellamy, Raven and even Murphy tried talking to her for a couple of minutes. At one point Finn came and tried talking to her, but she still couldn’t look at him. She wasn’t sure what they were talking about with her though, as all that was going through her mind was the massacre. All she could think about, was what chance for peace do they have now. What is the commander going to say, when they meet.  _ If I meet her. Maybe I’ll just wake up to the sound of gunfire, with the grounder army completely surrounding us and attacking without warning. Wouldn’t I deserve it though? Wouldn’t we all? _ And with these thoughts she fell asleep, just hoping the next day could be uneventful.

 

But of course, life had other plans. Early in the morning, Raven discovered that Mount Weather was jamming their communications and so Abby authorized a mission to blow the jammer. But when they finally reached a spot, from where Raven could do whatever she wanted to do, they were hit by the acid fog, which Clarke waited out with Finn in the bunker. The bunker where they first shared their moment and the bunker which was now filled with the stench of a dead grounder. He helped them and Finn killed him. They waited out the acid fog with almost no conversation between them, except for when Finn talked, 

 

“The fog’s cleared, we have to go.”

 

But Clarke didn’t respond, she just kept staring at the dead body, until eventually she just couldn’t take it and she lifted her head to look at Finn. “They were unarmed.”

 

“Let’s go.” Finn moved to the ladder, refusing to acknowledge what Clarke said.

 

“I don’t even know who you are.” Clarke said, voice hoarse.

 

“Neither do I.” Finn replied, his body sliding down the ladder and falling to the ground.

 

They regrouped with Bellamy and Octavia who, in the underground of some pre-war building found Lincoln. Or what remained of him, in his Reaper form. They took him to the dropship, where Clarke got the idea of getting her mom to try and cure him, and chained him up so he wouldn’t kill anyone or try to escape.

 

\---

  
Abby thought it over for a moment before turning to Jaha, “I can’t give that order.” she said firmly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke meets the Commander. Also talks alone with Anya.

“If you so much a s look at her the wrong way, I will slit your throat.” the tall, bearded man, who Clarke presumed was Gustus, told her. But she didn’t falter.  _ Show confidence _ , she remembered Anya’s advice. So she stood straight and her eyes never left his. He turned around and with his hand he pulled the tent curtain aside.

 

Clarke stepped inside and slowly made her way to the center of the room, while the man remained standing at the entrance. The tent felt very open, sunlight was spilling in through a couple of tears in the roof and a slow breeze was coming in from under the tent’s walls. Only person Clarke recognized was Anya, who was looking at her with an angry, almost betrayed glare. She had her hair done much like the first time Clarke laid eyes on her, two braids running from the front of her head to the back, with a couple of braids scattered here and there. She was clad in a sleeveless leather jacket, with a long sleeve t-shirt underneath it, all of it black of course. Clarke didn’t look at her for long, mostly because she knew how furious and disappointed Anya was with the sky people. With Clarke. She just hoped she could talk with Anya alone and try to explain. The next person Clarke saw was a black woman, standing tall with her palm enclosed around the hilt of her sword, eyes filled with distrust and hatred. She looked much more ready for battle than Anya, as she was dressed in part leather, part metal armor and what looked like chainmail underneath it.  _ Indra _ , Clarke thought.

 

And between the two women, on top of her wooden throne sat the Commander. Her eyes fixed on the dagger she was twirling between her left hand and the fingers on her right hand. Her eyes, which were enclosed by warpaint, running from her nose, to her temples. With three long tears streaming down her face on each side.  _ Meant for war. _

 

“You’re the one, who burned three hundred of my warriors alive.” The commander spoke, her voice unwavering.

 

_ How much confidence is too much? _ Clarke thought to herself before speaking, “You’re the one who sent them there to kill us.”

 

On that, the Commander’s eyes finally looked up and Clarke saw the fury within them and she was afraid she’d lose her head for speaking so boldly. But instead Lexa cocked her head to the side and spoke again, voice still absolutely resolute, “Do you have something to say to me, Clarke, of the sky people?”

 

Clarke looked to Anya then, the older blonde’s brows still furrowed and she prayed that she remember the next sentence correctly, before her eyes shifted to Lexa again, “I laik Klark kom Skaikru en ai gaf oso throu Maun-de daun ogeda in.”

 

When Lexa heard her people’s language come from the young blonde’s lips, she raised one eyebrow and turned her head towards Anya, whose expression somewhat softened. The two looked at each other for a moment before they both focused on Clarke again.

 

“Anya told me you want peace and cooperation. I heard the same from Marcus. Yet even with all the convincing that Skaikru want a truce with us, you let a murderer in one of my villages. And there, you let him kill eighteen of my people. Elders, who wanted to live the rest of their lives in peace. Young ones, who had their lives in front of them.” she rose from her throne and slowly began making her way to Clarke, “So you see, Clarke, it’s hard to be at peace with people who attack us right after they offer peace.”

 

“Not just peace. We want your help in getting our people out of Mount Weather. Both our people. I’m sure Anya told you about them.”

 

“She did. But how do I know you aren’t going to turn on us as soon as we get our people back? You are, after all, more like the mountain men than like us.”

 

“There is more we can offer you.”

 

“There is? Why didn’t Anya tell me about this?” Lexa asked, confused look on her face as she glanced at Anya again.

 

“She didn’t know.” Clarke rushed out in Anya’s defense. “We found out after she left.”

 

“Found what out?”

 

“The mountain men. They are turning your people into Reapers.” Lexa’s look of confusion was now replaced by shock. “I can turn them back.”

 

“Impossible!” Indra spoke for the first time.

 

“I did it with Lincoln.”

 

“That traitor is the reason…” she growled and just about charged in Clarke’s face. She tried to, anyway. Before she even finished her sentence, Anya took a long step forward and placed herself between Indra and Clarke, slamming her forearm in Indra’s chest and stopping her dead in her tracks.

 

“Jos kos yu hod em in, nou mana osir sou nou jomp em op.” Indra angrily barked out.

 

“Shof op, Indra.” Anya said, her voice seething.

 

“Em pleni!” Lexa called behind her, before turning back to Clarke. “You say you can turn Reapers back into men?” she asked and upon seeing Clarke nod she continued, “Then prove it. Show me Lincoln.”

 

“Just follow me.”

 

Lexa shouted something in her language as soon as they left the tent, a couple more grounder warriors came to her and Clarke led all of them to the dropship. She didn’t fail to notice how Anya placed herself between Indra and her and she hoped she would live to thank her later. She hoped that her mom managed to save Lincoln and she hoped it could be enough for peace.

 

They arrived about twenty minutes later. Clarke spent the whole way thinking about how this could turn out if they didn’t save Lincoln and she couldn’t think about any good outcomes. So when she climbed up the ladder to find Octavia sobbing over Lincoln’s lifeless body, she didn’t know how to react. She didn’t know what to do and she didn’t get the chance figure it out, as Lexa with her warriors was already standing behind her. Clarke looked at her with a pleading look but Lexa just nodded to Indra and they all drew their weapons.

 

“You lied.”

 

“Please, we can…”

 

“Ai na frag emo op.” Indra cut her off.

 

Just as Indra was about to charge however, Abby quickly kneeled down and used her shock baton on Lincoln’s chest. His whole body arched upwards towards it, but he fell down, still as lifeless.

 

“Hit him again.” Clarke cried out.

 

And Abby did. As his body reacted to the shock again, this time when his back hit the ground, his eyes flew open and he began coughing. Clarke stared at him in shock, her hope rising, but she knew not to get it too high, as there was still a chance for him to still be a Reaper. But when he looked at Octavia and weakly whispered her name, she knew it worked. And when she looked up from the lying man, to see the awestruck faces of the other Grounders, she knew there was a chance for peace. A real chance.

 

\---

 

“I have to say,” Lexa began when they made it back to her tent, “Lincoln’s recovery was… impressive. No one’s ever survived such a fate before.” She smiled.

 

“It’s not that complicated, really. I know we can do it for others.” Clarke said honestly.

 

Lexa nodded, “You can have your peace. There’s just one thing I require in return.”

 

“Anything you want.”

 

“Deliver me the one you call Finn.” The Commander said firmly and didn’t hesitate even upon seeing Clarke’s scared face. “Our peace begins… with his death.”

 

Lexa moved to the back of her tent, leaving Clarke standing alone in front of the table which held a model of the surrounding area, complete with the treeline, hills and a rock, loosely resembling the Ark.

 

Clarke slowly left the tent and made her way back to the Ark, where she was greeted by her worried mother, along with Bellamy, Finn, Raven and dozen other Arkers, who were anxious about her meeting with the commander.

 

“What did she say? Is there a chance for peace?” Her mom spoke up first.

 

“Yes.” Clarke stammered out, still shocked.

 

“So? Clarke, what’s wrong?” Raven asked.

 

Clarke looked at Finn. “They want you. If we want peace, we have to give them Finn.”

 

Finn and Raven shared the same look of shock, while Abby and Bellamy looked just confused, but unsurprised. Around them however, people already started closing in on them, shouting to give the ‘spacewalker’ to the grounders. The Guard started gathering around them as well, trying to keep out the other Arkers away from Finn and they were escorted inside the station. Raven was taken to lock-up for punching Major Byrne and their makeshift council decided to not give Finn up. Clarke agreed with the decision, but couldn’t help second guessing herself.

 

By the time their meeting ended, it was dark already and so Clarke just went to sleep, tired from the day’s events and just wanting for everything to resolve itself. She knew it wouldn’t, life was never this easy, especially on the ground, but it didn’t stop her from wanting it.

 

She woke up early in the morning, with the sun barely visible above the trees. What woke her up was sound coming from the main gate and she decided to see what was happening. She saw some people standing around the gate in small groups, quietly speaking to each other, but together, they managed to be somewhat loud. In front of the gate, there were two riders, their faces hidden behind masks, armed with swords and bows.

 

Clarke walked towards them and stopped right in front of the gate. “What do you want?”

 

“Finn. We are not to leave without him.”

 

“You’re not getting him.” Came Abby’s voice from behind Clarke. “Tell your commander we’re ready to fight.”

 

The riders turned around without another word and rode back to their camp. Just a moment later, voice came from where they disappeared, “Don’t shoot.”

 

To say they were all surprised, to see Kane walking towards them, alive and relatively unhurt, would be an understatement.

 

Abby ordered her men to open the gate, and moved towards him, just quickly checking him over before hugging him, surprising both Kane and Clarke. “I thought you were dead.” she breathed out. Kane briefly returned the hug before unwrapping Abby’s hands from around him.

 

“Not yet. Come on, we have a lot to talk about.”

 

\---

 

After their talk, Clarke went with Kane to visit Lincoln in the infirmary, to see how he’s holding up, but also to ask for his advice. Kane suggested they present the commander an alternative offer, that the Sky people would take care of Finn’s trial.

 

“No. She won’t take it.”

 

“I met her. She wants to lead through peace. She’s a visionary.” Kane argued.

 

“Yes, she is. That’s why you’re still alive.”

 

“But she…” Kane tried to insist.

 

“She can’t take the deal, even if she wanted to.” Lincoln cut him off.

 

“Why not?” Octavia inquired.

 

“She wouldn’t live to see the morning.”

 

“Your people would kill her for being merciful?” Octavia asked, unbelieving tone in her voice.

 

“For being weak. Finn took eighteen lives. He will suffer the pain of eighteen deaths. If death has no cost, then life has no worth. That has always been our way.”

 

“How can you say that? Finn is your friend.” Clarke tried to defend him.

 

“Some of the people in the village were my friends as well.” Lincoln angrily retorted.

 

“That wasn’t him. You know that wasn’t him.” Clarke said weakly, not believing her own words.

 

“We've all got a monster inside of us, Clarke, and we're all responsible for what it does when we let it out.” Lincoln rasped. “He took eighteen lives. The commander’s offering to take just one. Take the deal so we can have peace.”

 

Clarke wouldn’t do it, she wouldn’t betray one of her own. Bellamy was afraid that Kane and Abby would give Finn up, so they along with now released Raven thought of a plan. Bellamy, Raven and Finn would escape through one unelectrified part of the fence and make their way to the dropship. Clarke would stay behind, as she didn’t really know what the next step was, after they made it there and also so she could delay her mother for some time, after she inevitably found out that Finn was missing.

 

Clarke didn’t know what to think. She felt betrayed by Finn doing what he did. She still felt betrayed by him for pursuing Clarke when he was still with Raven. And just when she was ready to forgive him, he went ahead and slaughtered a village. She didn’t feel like protecting him, but she also couldn’t give up on him. He was one of her people. So she helped them carry their stuff to the fence, where they parted ways and Clarke went to their bar to get a drink. Sure enough, about an hour later, her mother approached her. “Clarke? Where’s Raven? Sinclair has been asking for her.”

 

Clarke shrugged. “I don’t know.”

 

“And Bellamy? And Finn?” Abby raised an eyebrow.

 

“They should be around here somewhere.” Clarke looked around, pretending she was trying to find them.

 

“Clarke.” Abby said sternly, clearly not believing her. “Where are they?”

 

“I. Don’t. Know.” Clarke emphasized each word.

 

Abby gave her daughter one last look, before turning around and walking away. Clarke saw her say something to Major Byrne before she walked back to medical. She downed the rest of her drink and made her way to the fence, where she walked along it, starting from the point where she last saw Finn. She looked at the forest, but when she saw nothing unusual, she just hoped her friends made it to the dropship in one piece and continued her walk. She stopped at the other side of the fence, where she saw the entire grounder camp. People walking from tent to tent, small groups practicing combat and few of them training with their bows.

 

She thought about how much of a chance they would have against them, if they decided to attack, when she saw a horse galloping towards the gate. Atop the horse, Clarke saw a very familiar face and so she quickly rushed to the gate, telling the guards to open it. They were reluctant at first, but when they recognized the rider, they carefully let her in.

 

“Hello, Anya.” Clarke quietly greeted her.

 

“Clarke.”

 

“Let’s go inside, we are starting to have an audience here.”

 

Anya nodded. She had her hair done in a single braid, starting at the top of her head. She was wearing a grey see-through tank top over a black cold shoulder long sleeve top. Clarke felt oddly happy that she saw Anya again but she was also confused as to why she was here. “You look good.” she tried when they were alone in her room, “I mean, the gunshot, it looks like it healed well.”

 

Anya however looked entirely unimpressed, little angry if anything, so Clarke tried again. “I’m glad…”

 

“Did you or your people order the attack?” Anya cut her off.

 

Clarke stood before her speechless, not sure if she should be angry or sad that Anya would think something like this.  _ Why would I do that? _ Clarke was too tired to be angry, she just wanted for Anya to see that she wouldn’t ever do something like this, but she didn’t know if Anya would ever believe her now.

 

“Did you?” Anya inquired further.

 

“No. Of course we haven’t.” Clarke said weakly.

 

“Then why…” Anya began, her voice rising “are you all protecting the murderer?”

 

“He’s one of us. Would you give up one of your own?”

 

“If I found out he killed innocent people? Yes, I would. We need our people to be soldiers, not criminals.”

 

“We can’t let him die on your terms. Torture until death. We can’t...”

 

“Those were my people Clarke.” Anya’s voice lowered again, surprising Clarke, “Lincoln said that Finn was the first one who talked to him about peace. And now when you had a chance for peace, he does this? Explain that to me, Clarke, because I just don’t understand.”

 

“He thought he was rescuing me. He didn’t know it was the mountain men, he thought we were at the village. I’m sorry Anya. I’m so sorry.” Until now Clarke was successful at holding back tears, but when she finished her sentence she failed to keep one tear at bay. And as soon as one of them escaped, she just couldn’t keep them back any longer and now they were streaming down her cheeks and sobs were raking through her body.

 

\---

 

When presented with a crying Clarke, Anya simply didn’t know what to do. Which never happened. Whether it was hunting, fighting or ruling, Anya always knew what to do. But with Clarke in front of her like this, she just had no idea. She was fumbling with her hands and she felt like she had to do something. So she just decided to try and calm her down. She carefully stepped forward and raised her hand to touch Clarke’s arm. When Clarke didn’t jerk away from her touch - Anya thought she might’ve even leaned into it - she swallowed and stepped forward once more, this time wrapping her arms around the smaller blonde.

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” She thought this could calm Clarke down a bit, but to Anya it seemed to have the opposite effect, resulting in Clarke crying even harder. She thought maybe she overstepped by hugging Clarke so she, for a brief moment, tried letting her go, but then she realized just how much was Clarke leaning into her, so she just held her little tighter.

 

Anya was rigid, awkward and really not sure what was happening, but it seemed to be exactly what Clarke needed, as after a couple of minutes, Clarke’s crying has somewhat subsided, so she untangled herself from Anya’s arms, wiping her cheeks with her sleeves. “I’m sorry, I… this is all just too much. I know I should be able to handle it, but…”

 

“I get it.” And Anya really did. She knew all too well how hard it could be to keep making hard choices, to lead. Those below her looked at her and saw nothing but leader. Not a human with emotions, but a stoic leader, one that would put her people before everything else. And there’s only so long one can go without showing emotion. Only so long one can go with all the pressure on them bottled up without it breaking them.

 

Clarke nodded in agreement as she slumped down into a chair, “We can’t give him to you Anya. We just can’t.”

 

“I understand you are upset about this. But are you willing to let your people die for him?”

 

“I… We…” Clarke seemed lost for words.

 

“Because make no mistake. If Lexa decides to attack, we will wipe you out. Even if we lose fifty for every one you lose, we would still win.”

 

“What if we would put him on trial? For war crimes.”

 

“No. I can guarantee you, my people wouldn’t find his punishment enough.”

 

“I can’t let your people torture him. Lincoln told me what he would have to go through. Fire, cuts and the commander’s sword at sunrise. I know what he did is horrible, but I can’t allow that to happen. I… I loved him.”

 

“Do you want to know what will happen when we attack?” Upon seeing Clarke’s confused face, Anya continued, “I’m not going to tell you our strategy, of course, but just generally what  going to happen. Our warriors know what Finn looks like, those of us who saw him described him, and the more talented of us painted him. The army will be given a special order. Kill everyone, but him. He’s still going to be tortured until death. Even if you fight. By giving him up, you’re allowing your people to live.”

 

“I’m not in charge here. If you want him, go talk to my mother.”

 

“Clarke. We both know you are a leader. Maybe not by title, but by spirit. Do what a leader is supposed to and protect your people.”

 

“That’s what I’m doing by not giving him up!”

 

“No. You are killing your people by doing that. Killing yourself. And no matter what you do, we’re still going to find him and kill him. Whatever your plan is, it’s not going to work. If you tell him to run while we’re fighting, he’s not going to make it far. Sooner or later, we would find him. If he stays here? We’re going to get him even sooner.”

 

“And so what? I’m supposed to just tell you where he is and let him die in agony? How could I live with myself if I did that?”

 

_ I’m not going to beg you to do it, _ Anya thought before she sighed. “We need you to defeat the mountain men. And I… I don’t want you to die. So even though some of the people he killed were my friends, I’m going to make you an offer Clarke. You tell me where he his and I promise you, his death will be quick. I’ll do it myself, no torture, no pain. It’s the best outcome you and your people can hope for right now.”

 

Anya hated herself for doing this, for being so weak and allowing a murderer to die quickly, but the truth was, they really needed Sky people if they were to truly fight the mountain. And even though it was hard for Anya to admit it, she really didn’t want Clarke to die. Even though they knew each other only briefly - and they weren’t trying to kill each other for even less time - Anya felt like Clarke could be a great ally and even a friend. Something about the young blonde was drawing her in and Anya trusted her gut about this.

 

Clarke was silent for a couple of minutes and Anya would have spoken up, had she not seen how hard she was trying to concentrate and think. Finally, Clarke released a breath, closed her eyes and lowered her head. “He’s not here.” She said in a voice that sounded too much like she’s holding back tears, again.

 

“Where?” Anya asked, keeping her voice down, happy that she made Clarke see reason.

 

Clarke lifted her head and looked at Anya, eyes full of defeat. “The dropship.”

 

Anya nodded and slowly turned around, but Clarke stopped her, “Wait.”

 

“Yes?” She turned her head to look at Clarke.

 

“He’s not alone. Some of my friends are with him. Can you…”

 

“I’m not going there after them, I’m not going to kill them.”

 

Clarke nodded and bowed her head again. Anya left the room, intending to go straight to the camp to get more men but she ran into Abby. “Chancellor.”

 

“Anya. I was told there’s another grounder inside, but I didn’t believe it. I said we’re ready to fight and yet here you are unarmed. Why are you here?”

 

“There’s not going to be a battle. No one has to fight. I came here to make sure of that.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Clarke told me where Finn is. She took the Commander’s deal.”

 

“Clarke wouldn’t do that. And besides, she’s not the Chancellor. She can’t take the deal.” Abby said incredulously.

 

“So you still want war after we kill Finn?” Anya retorted matter-of-factly.

 

“No, I don’t. I just…” Abby sounded confused.

 

“Chancellor. Your daughter did the right thing. She sacrificed one for the good of the many. She saved your people. I have to go now, so unless you intend on taking me prisoner...”

 

Abby just shook her head, probably too shocked to reply and Anya made her way past her and out of the Ark. The guards at the gate stopped her, but one of them quickly radioed the Chancellor and they let her leave. She got on her horse still waiting before the entrance and quickly turned it around, riding away from the Ark.

 

“You! You, you, you two and you.” Anya pointed at some nearby warriors as she got off her horse and walked through the camp. She enlisted some more soldiers as she made her way through, until her squad was big enough and she split them up into three groups, each supposed to make way to the dropship from a different direction. Anya herself, of course led the biggest one, the one that would be making direct approach. She gave the order that no one is to be killed and they’re going there for one person only. 

  
Anya knew how she was going to kill Finn. Poison, made from sap of a special tree, growing only in the Broadleaf clan territory. In small dosage, it only helps one sleep, which is why Anya has it on her, but in a larger dose, it’s lethal. It acts slowly, at first putting the recipient to sleep and then stopping their heart, but it’s completely painless. Anya still wasn’t entirely sure how she planned on taking Finn without killing anyone else, but she gave Clarke her word and she sure as hell would do everything to keep it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Hopefully it doesn't seem too rushed, I just absolutely love Clarke/Anya and I can't wait for them to get together (you would think that as an author, I would have some control over this, but I don't). I'm also super impatient and excited to get to Clexa and to all three of them interacting, so there's that. Sorry about not translating trigedasleng, but those parts were from Clarke's point of view, and Clarke doesn't speak it (yet), so the reader is supposed to be just as lost as Clarke.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of Finn's death. Lexa and Anya talk and Clarke meets a new grounder.

“Clarke, I’m so sorry, I was just checking the perimeter and something stung me in my neck. The next thing I know, I’m waking up with mouth full of dirt and Finn was nowhere to be found.” Bellamy explained as soon as he returned, along with Raven and surprisingly Murphy, who Clarke didn’t even know was going with them.

 

“How the fuck did they know we were there?” Raven cried out, eyes full of tears she was just barely holding back. “No one knew about it, except…” she trailed off and looked at Clarke.

 

Clarke lifted her head to look at her with a regretful look, her cheeks still red and eyes puffy from crying so much after Anya left. Her mother came in a short while after and tried comforting her, but she just cried harder when she tried to explain to Abby why she did what she did. “Raven, I…”

 

“No… No!” Raven screamed as the first tear rolled down her cheek, “You bitch! What did you do?!” she rushed at Clarke and Bellamy had to seize her so she wouldn’t do anything.

 

“Clarke? What happened?” Bellamy asked as Raven cried in his arms.

 

“Anya… She was here, and I… I told her…” Clarke released a breath, “I told her where Finn is and she promised him a quick death. It was the only way to save our people. We would’ve been wiped out and they would still get him.” She said, her voice small.

 

“Anya? The grounder that brought weapons and tried to kill you during a negotiation?” He said incredulously, referring to the incident on the bridge.

 

“The grounder that saved me from Mount Weather. The only grounder that stood between us and death, when their army arrived Bellamy.”

 

“So you just gave her Finn? What happened to us fighting?”

 

“We would fight and we would lose. And then who would save our friends from Mount Weather? They would die, as we all would, including Finn. This way he at least gets a quick death.”

 

“If your grounder can be trusted.” Bellamy shaked his head.

 

\---

 

“Anya, what happened to the prisoner?” The commander asked.

 

Anya was summoned to the commander’s tent some time after they brought Finn in. But not before she made true on her promise. After they captured him and took him to their camp, he was tied to a post in a tent where he would await until nightfall. That was the original plan. Anya however had a promise to keep. She lingered after the rest of her squad left the tent and rather forcefully made him drink all the poison she had. Anya knew that she probably gave him twice the amount one would need for a peaceful death, but she needed to be sure. He fell asleep in the matter of seconds and he was probably dead by the time she left the tent.

 

“Commander?” Anya asked like she didn’t know what Lexa was asking.

 

“He’s dead.” Lexa stated, raising her eyebrow.

 

“I thought that’s why we were bringing him in.” Anya retorted.

 

“ _ Anya, tell me what happened to him. And don’t act like you don’t know. _ ” Lexa switched to her first language, the first sign that she was getting angry.

 

“ _ We must have knocked him out harder than we wanted. I apologize Commander, but he fought back. _ ”

 

Lexa shook her head slightly and sighed. She walked away from the table where they stood and headed to her throne. To Anya’s surprise however, she didn’t sit on the throne, but on the first step before it. She looked at Anya expectantly and the older blonde sat next to her Commander.

 

“I’m not going to have you killed. I’ll tell everyone he died of an injury he received when he was captured. But tell me the truth. It’s what you always taught me to do.” Lexa placed her palm on Anya’s forearm and curled her fingers around it.

 

“I poisoned him.” She admitted.

 

“Why?” Lexa asked. She didn’t sound angry at all, just curious.

 

“Clarke wouldn’t give him up otherwise. She couldn’t stand one of her people be tortured.”

 

“So you did this for her?” Lexa inquired.

 

Anya looked at her wide eyed, “What exactly are you asking me Lexa?” she used her name instead of her title, knowing that this was now a conversation between two friends.

 

“You like her.”

 

“We are friends.” Anya hoped it would be enough for Lexa.

 

“No, you and Indra are friends. You and Gustus are friends. I saw how you look at the sky girl and that is no way to look at a friend.” Lexa smirked.

 

Anya felt really torn at this point. On one hand, she was glad that at least with her, Lexa talked freely, that she dropped the mighty Commander and just was. It was hard to get her to open up, especially after Costia and Anya was grateful. On the other hand, she would really rather not talk about this, because that would mean acknowledging that she maybe liked Clarke a bit more than as a friend. Which was completely unreasonable. They knew each other for so little time, so why did her heart jump in her chest every time Anya saw her. Stupid and unreasonable. As were all matters of heart.

 

Anya sighed, “Yes, I am fond of Clarke.”

 

Lexa smiled and nodded, “I’m glad for you. You never had a chance to be happy with anyone.”

 

“It’s ridiculous Lexa. I killed the person she loved. And we barely know each other. Besides, there’s no time for this. Not now with the coming war.”

 

“Not yet. And I can see why you would like her.” Lexa bumped her shoulder and Anya smiled.

 

\---

 

“Commander wants to talk to you.” The grounder said to Clarke.

 

“Me? Why not the Chancellor?” Clarke eyed the grounder that just galloped to the camp gate confusedly.

 

He cocked his head to the side, “You can ask her yourself. I don’t question my Commander.”

 

This grounder seemed different to Clarke. All the grounders she met until this point were clad in armor, hair and beards done in intricate braids and their tattoos were hidden, or very few and simple if visible. The man before her however, had his long hair flowing freely, his beard was thick, but shorter and messier, and he was topless, meaning all his intricate tattoos were visible. And there were a lot of tattoos. On his left side going from his forearm to his biceps and extending across the neck right below his ear, on his right side going from his elbow, wrapping around his upper arm and circling around his shoulder, before it continued along his side and to the right part of his chest. It had to be extremely long, because it continued on his leg, where it was no longer visible.

 

“I’ll just tell the Chancellor I’m going.” Clarke said and he curtly nodded.

 

Clarke made her way to medical, where Abby was currently looking over the girl Bellamy brought back couple days ago, the only survivor from Factory station.

 

“The Commander wants to talk.”

 

Abby looked at Clarke, “Okay, I’ll just finish here and...”

 

“With me.”

 

“Why?” Abby was obviously scared for her daughter.

 

“Finn. Why else?”

 

“No way Clarke.” Bellamy’s voice came from behind her, “What if that grounder friend of yours spilled? You could be walking into a death trap.”

 

“They have no reason to kill me.”

 

“I don’t like this, Clarke.” Abby said.

 

Clarke sighed, “I didn’t come here to ask if I can go talk to her, I came here to tell you I’m going.” She turned around and walked out of medical, leaving surprised Abby and Bellamy behind.

 

She made her way outside the camp where she met the grounder from before, only this time he was sitting on a stump with his horse nowhere to be seen. When he spotted Clarke he stood up.

 

“Can we go?” He asked and Clarke nodded.

 

“Where is your horse?” Clarke was curious why he would choose to walk instead of riding.

 

“I sent him ahead. It didn’t seem fair that I would ride, while you had to walk.”

 

Clarke raised her eyebrows, clearly taken aback, not expecting a grounder to think this way, but he just laughed.

 

“Yeah, it must be weird, to have a grounder not look at you like he wants to gut you. Truth is, I have nothing against you Sky girl.”

 

“Who are you?” Clarke was confused. He was right, grounders usually looked like they were ready to kill her on sight, with a few exceptions of course.

 

“Leif kom Ouskejon Kru.”

 

“Not Trikru?”

 

Leif shook his head. Clarke finally understood why he seemed different. “Blue Cliff in your language. We arrived right after Trikru set up the camp.”

 

“There are more clans?”

 

“Eleven here. Heda rules twelve.” Clarke made a mental note to ask Anya about this later.

 

“Why aren’t you wearing armor?” She asked curiously.

 

Leif chuckled, “There’s no point. If your people decided to shoot me, armor wouldn’t do anything for me, it’s not that cold outside and if one of our own wanted to attack me, I could beat them even without armor.”

 

Clarke wanted to comment on the man’s overconfidence, but just then they stopped and she noticed the commander’s tent before them, with Anya standing at the entrance.

 

“Thank you Leif, now go put on a shirt.” Anya said, her hands behind her back.

 

“Taim teik yun of.” He smirked and walked away.

 

“Hello Clarke.” Anya greeted her once Leif was out of eyesight.

 

“Hi.” Clarke replied shortly and tried moving past Anya into the tent. Anya however caught her wrist which made Clarke look at her. “Is Finn…”

 

“Yes.” Anya tore her eyes away from Clarke and looked forward, not really focusing on anything, “Commander’s waiting on you.” She released Clarke’s hand.

 

“Right.” Clarke took a deep breath and stepped into the tent.

 

“Klark kom Skaikru. I assume Anya told you that Finn is dead.” Lexa spoke from her throne.

 

“Yes.” Clarke tried to steel herself, to not show just how devastated she was.

 

“He died of an injury my warriors caused when they captured him. Some of my people say that’s not enough, but what they don’t know is that your suffering will be greater. What you did will haunt you until your last breath, but we both know that. He is dead and those were my conditions for treaty. Tradition demands that he is burned in TonDC, so the killer and the killed are joined. Choose who joins you, we are leaving right now.”

 

“Now?”

 

“Yes, the sooner we do this, the sooner we can get our people from the mountain.” Lexa stood up and walked to the center of the room, “Anya!” she shouted and Anya stepped in, “Clarke, tell her names of the people you’re taking with you. Anya will send someone for them while we start breaking camp.”

 

Anya looked at the younger blonde expectantly, and Clarke started, “Abby, Kane, Bellamy, Octavia and Lincoln, if he’s feeling up for it…” she sighed, “and Raven. My mother will probably want to take some guards as well, I’m leaving that up to her.”

 

Anya nodded, quickly turned around and left.

 

\---

 

Clarke’s chosen entourage joined them shortly and they began making their way to TonDC. The journey was uneventful, Clarke didn’t even notice they arrived as she was deeply lost in her thoughts. Bellamy was at first reluctant to let go of his weapons at the entrance, but it was resolved quickly. One of the grounders in TonDC tried to stop them and Gustus almost killed him, but Clarke intervened and begged Lexa to let him live, as the grounders would just blame his death on the sky people as well.

 

Pyre was already prepared when they arrived to the town’s square, people assembled nearby and Finn’s body was laid on top of the small wooden structure.

 

“People of TonDC, in fire, we cleanse the pain of the past.” Lincoln translated what Lexa spoke.

 

Indra passed Lexa a torch and stepped back, bowing her head along with everyone else. The Commander just looked at it, before extending her arm to her right, offering the torch, “Clarke.”

 

Quiet murmurs arose around them and Clarke looked to her unsure, but Lexa just slowly nodded in affirmation. She stepped up and took the torch in her hand, hesitating for just a moment before lowering it to set one of the corners alight, “Yu gonplei ste odon.”

 

They waited for a long time, watching the fire grow, watching it consume the wood and flesh alike and watching it die down, until no more than embers remained. Clarke couldn’t tear her eyes off, no matter how intense the blaze was and even after just ashes remained she stood rooted in the ground. Everyone else left already, everyone except Lexa who was now standing beside her.

 

“I lost someone special to me, too.” Her voice was soft, careful and to Clarke, it seemed broken, “Her name was Costia. She was captured by the Ice Nation whose queen believed she knew my secrets. Because she was mine… they tortured her, killed her, cut off her head.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Clarke offered, but it sounded empty, even to her.

 

“I thought I’d never get over the pain, but I did.”

 

“How?”

 

“By recognizing it for what it is. Weakness.”

 

“What is? Love?”

 

Lexa gave her a sharp nod.

 

“So you just stopped caring? About everyone?”

 

Another nod.

 

“I could never do that.”

 

“Then you put the people you care about in danger and the pain will never go away. The dead are gone, Clarke. The living are hungry.” She turned around and walked away.

 

Clarke was at this point way too tired to try and decipher, just what the hell Lexa meant by that, so she just stared at the burned pile for a little longer before turning around and following her. She descended into a cellar where she saw a long table in the middle of the room, surrounded by people everywhere, grounders on the opposite side and Arkers on her side.

 

“Please accept this gift, Commander. We drink this at special occasions. I believe this qualifies.” Kane spoke up first and offered a bottle of moonshine.

 

“Thank you, Marcus of the Sky People.” Lexa accepted and Gustus leaned over to take it.

 

“You’re welcome, Lexa.” He smiled, “kom Trikru. Just don’t drink too much of it.”

 

“Clarke,” she turned to the young blonde, “let us drink together.”

 

“It would be my pleasure.” Clarke responded.

 

A young man handed over two chalices to Gustus, who set them on the table before Lexa poured the liquor into them. She handed one of them to Clarke and Gustus spoke for the first time since they arrived, “Heda, allow me.” And Lexa gave him her cup. As he drank from it, Clarke and Kane looked at him annoyed, because really, why would they try and poison her now. He returned the cup to Lexa.

 

“Tonight, we celebrate our newfound peace. Tomorrow, we plan our war. To those we lost,” she raised her chalice, “and to those we shall soon find.”

 

Yet before the drink even touched her lips, Gustus collapsed on the table, coughing violently. He was shouting something in his language as he backed up until his back hit the wall and all the grounders nearby stepped closer to him. Indra was the first to react, drawing her sword and pointing it at the other side of the table, “It was the sky people.” she shouted as one of the tables was pushed to the side.

 

Clarke was trying to convince them that it wasn’t them, that they wouldn’t have done this, while Indra ordered them to be searched. Clarke was still trying to explain that they had nothing to do with this, but then Lexa stepped close to her, “Tell me something Clarke, when you told Anya where to find the boy you loved, did you not wish it was me you were killing instead?” and Clarke had no answer to that.

 

Right then, the grounder searching Raven got Lexa’s attention by showing her a small vial he apparently found on her. Clarke tried looking at her with pleading eyes, but Lexa wouldn’t budge. “No sky person leaves this room.” She roared as she stepped past Clarke. She didn’t go for the entrance right away, she placed herself in front of Anya, who until now was observing the situation. Clarke saw how Lexa said something to her in a low, seething voice, but she couldn’t make out what it was that she said. Whatever it was however, it left Anya shocked, rooted in place, just watching as the Commander and the rest of the Grounders left the room and locked the doors behind them. Lincoln tried stopping Indra, but it was to no avail.

 

For the next couple of moments, everyone in the room was trying to process what just happened and how exactly are they going to solve it. It seemed everyone was running a blank, so Clarke approached Raven, who was retying her brace, “Raven, I need to know the truth.”

 

“I’d step back if I was you.” She said, nonchalantly.

 

“Lexa wanted Finn dead. If you tried to get your revenge by poisoning her, I need…” Clarke didn’t get to finish her sentence, as Raven wheeled around and punched her in the face.

 

“You’re the only murderer here.” Raven screamed.

 

She looked ready to punch Clarke again, but Anya quickly placed herself in front of her, grabbing Raven by the collar of her jacket, and raising a fist in warning.

 

“You and your grounder bitch.” Raven smacked Anya’s arm of of her and walked away.

 

Abby moved over to Clarke, to check the injury. Luckily nothing was broken, so it would just leave a bruise later. But even with the injury being superficial, Anya wouldn’t stop glaring at Raven. She looked ready to pounce on her any second.

 

“Anya, please don’t…”

 

The older blonde looked at Clarke with something that almost looked like worry in her eyes, before her shoulders visibly relaxed and she sat down on a nearby stair. While checking her injury, Abby tried telling Clarke that she understands what she did, and that they both had to make difficult choices for their people. Clarke is at first insulted and outraged by this comparison, but quickly sees that what her mother is telling her is true. They are not so different after all. Except her mother still loved her father, when she got him floated. But after what Finn did…

 

Almost everyone in the room was silent. People were sitting down, leaning on walls or just pacing from one spot to another, but only few talked. Clarke noticed now that Allan was with them and was right now trying to calm down Raven. Which apparently wasn’t working, judging by how Raven tried to punch him as well, his training as a guard blocking the fist. Clarke couldn’t blame her though. It was too early for her to see that Clarke did the right thing. After all, even Clarke didn’t entirely believe it. Maybe Raven never would.

 

“You manage to beat me and you let her punch you?” Anya sat down beside Clarke.

 

“She’s angry with me and she probably always will.” Clarke sounded defeated.

 

“So was I.” Anya briefly met Clarke’s eyes, but quickly turned away, “Are you certain none of your people did it?”

 

“We need this alliance and you know it.” Clarke said and Anya nodded, “What did she tell you?”

 

Anya raised an eyebrow.

 

“Commander, she told you something before she left.”

 

“Oh.” Anya sighed, “She told me that if I love the Sky people so much, I can as well stay here with them.”

 

“Why would she think that you ‘love’ us?”

 

“Because of the time I spent at your camp. Because I spoke highly of your people when I proposed this alliance. Because I killed Finn for you.” She spoke the last sentence quietly so no one else would hear.

 

“So she thinks she can’t trust you by her side?”

 

“No. She’s just angry with me right now. Because I proposed an alliance in which she now believes one side wants to kill her.”

 

Just as she finished speaking, some noise came from the stairs and before long, warriors were barging in the room with Indra among them. She said something in her language and two of the warriors grabbed Raven and dragged her out. Bellamy tried to stop them, but that just earned him a knee in his stomach from one of the nearby grounders.

 

“Indra, hod op.” Anya shouted and moved closer to her, “Yu wich emo don trana disha in?”

 

“Sha, ai wich em in.” Indra said angrily as she moved past Anya towards Clarke, “She tried to kill the Commander. After she’s dead, so is the alliance. I suggest you run.”

 

Before Clarke could reply, Indra and the rest of her warriors were already walking out of the room, leaving the door open behind them.

 

“It can’t end like this.” Clarke said.

 

“Then let’s focus on how we prove it wasn’t us.” Kane said from behind her as he placed his hand on Clarke’s shoulder. “Anya is your name, right?” He looked to the grounder.

 

“It is, Marcus kom Skaikru.”

 

“Is there any way, we could prove we didn’t do this?” Kane sounded almost desperate. Clarke was glad that he also understood how much they needed this.

 

“I can’t think of anything, I’m sorry…” Anya shook her head before her gaze fixed on something and Clarke could see the wheels turning behind her eyes.

 

“What?”

 

“I know who did this. Quickly, let’s go.” She ran out of the room and up the stairs, taking two at a time and everyone in the room followed her after Clarke did.

 

“Give me the bottle.” Anya said to Nyko, who, confused, tossed it to her. “Heda!” She shouted as Raven was screaming from receiving her second cut. Everyone’s attention turned to her in that moment, “It wasn’t her.”

 

“Do you have proof of this?”

 

“Yes, I do.” She opened the bottle and drank from it. Lexa’s eyes widened and she took a step back and Clarke did as well, similarly shocked.

 

Anya put the bottle down, shuddering a bit from the effect of the alcohol and everyone was staring at her like she was insane. Lexa was the first to school her expression back to normal, “Explain.” she said.

 

“The poison wasn’t in the bottle, it was in the cup.”

 

Lexa cocked her head to the side, her eyes unfocused as she thought it over, “So you’re saying one of my people tried to kill me?” Her gaze flicked back to Anya.

 

“No. One of your people tried to kill the alliance. And in doing so he almost put your life in danger.” Anya said confidently, like she already knew who did it.

 

“No one would dare.” Lexa shook her head.

 

“One might, if he thought the alliance could cost you your life.” Anya looked up at Gustus.

 

Lexa breathed out, her face said it clearly that she didn’t want to believe it. She swallowed hard, and turned to look at her bodyguard, “Yu don ge finga au, Gostos. Ron ai ridyo op.”

 

“This alliance  _ would _ cost you your life, Heda.” Gustus said, bowing his head.

 

“This treachery will cost you yours. Teik em set raun ona tri.”

 

\---

 

A thousand cuts later, Gustus was barely clinging to his life. Raven stood before Clarke, wrapped in a blanket, with some makeshift bindings covering the two cuts she received. Somewhere during the process, she turned to Clarke. And Clarke was relieved to see the understanding look in her eyes. Raven was beginning to see why Clarke did what she did. She probably still didn’t forgive Clarke, not entirely, but it was a start. Clarke herself couldn’t watch the whole time. She managed the first hundred or so cuts, but then she had to avert her gaze. She noticed that few of the grounders didn’t partake. Lexa, Anya, Lincoln, Leif and a young man next to him, they watched the entire time, but they didn’t step forward.

  
Finally, Lexa stepped forward. She unsheathed her sword and spoke the grounder last words, “Yu gonplei ste odon.” And for the first time since Clarke knew her, her voice was shaky. She pushed the sword forward, right into Gustus’ heart, and pulled it out. He fell unconscious within seconds and was probably dead in a minute. Lexa stepped back and gave the sword to one of the warriors behind her, who immediately went to clean it. She approached Clarke and nodded, “You may have your alliance. Rest today, for tomorrow we plan our war.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long. The next one should come sooner. (no promises though). I love creating new characters, so I hope no one minds if I dedicate some time to them and their interactions with canon ones. I have some things already planned for Leif and the Blue Cliff clan and I have more characters that I want to introduce.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has an encounter with Quint and a Pauna. It's not nearly as action packed as in the show, but it's sure as he done more logically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took so long and that it's shorter than usual. I swear I had the complete story planned out, but then ideas started going to my head and I had to completely rethink it. I had an insane writer's block while writing this, so I apologize if it's not as good as you would like.

“I meant to ask you earlier about the clans. You never told me there was more than Trikru.” Clarke said to Anya as they were eating dinner together in Anya’s house in TonDC, where they decided Clarke would be accommodated for now.

 

“There are twelve in the Coalition. Five of them directly border with Trikru land. There is Ouska Ejon, Blue Cliff to the west, Yujleda, Broadleaf, to the southwest, Trishana, Glowing Forest to the south, Floukru, Boat people are across the sea to the east and Azgeda, Ice Nation to the north.”

 

“The man who took me to your camp this morning, Leif, he said there are eleven clans assembled now.”

 

Anya nodded, “The Boat people are a peaceful clan, they all swore never to fight again. They are part of the Coalition, but they do not take part in fighting.”

 

“Who is this Leif, by the way?” Clarke was curious. The way he talked and held himself, he just didn’t strike Clarke like a regular soldier.

 

“He’s uh, he’s the leader of Blue Cliff clan for now. Blue Cliff is a bit different from the other clans. Instead of having one leader, they have a council of eight members who make decisions together. Any one of the council can be challenged for his position by anyone else from the clan. But in times of war, this wouldn’t work, so the council chooses an Acting Commander, who then alone, leads the entire clan, until the war is over. The council chose Leif.”

 

Clarke’s eyes widened, “Acting Commander? And he was sent to fetch me?”

 

“Not really. He said he was bored and had nothing to do, so he volunteered to go get you.”

 

Clarke’s brows furrowed, she was clearly confused by this man. “And this is the man they chose as their leader?”

 

Anya, for the first time in Clarke’s presence smiled so widely that her teeth showed, and Clarke’s heart sped up a little in her chest at the sight, “Don’t let yourself be mistaken, Clarke kom Skaikru. He may smile and laugh and even jest, but on the battlefield, there are none equal to him. He inspires his men, he thinks quickly on his feet and his combat skills are unmatched even by the Commander.”

 

“Is he loyal?” Clarke was concerned. If this man was as great as Anya made him up to be, it could be dangerous to have him this close.

 

“To his people. And that means being loyal to the Coalition. He was the first to agree to joining forces with Lexa, before the Coalition was even formed. Leif lost his brother to the mountain and had to kill him when he came back a Reaper. He swore he would see the mountain fall and Lexa promised him just that.”

 

“And when it falls? Will he still be loyal to Lexa then?”

 

Anya swallowed a piece of meat she was chewing on, “He will. He told me what prompts him to be the best warrior possible. In his words it’s ‘the safety of his people’. And that’s Lexa’s main focus as well. They became the best warriors so their people wouldn’t have to be.”

 

They ate the rest of their meals in silence, Clarke stealing glances at Anya and quickly looking away when the older blonde noticed. Clarke couldn’t tell why she felt this comfortable around someone she really knew for such a short amount of time, but after the day’s events, she was so exhausted she didn’t even care. And the fact that Anya let her sleep in her house reassured her, that Anya feels comfortable with her as well.

 

“I talked with Bellamy and we agreed on the first step of the plan. Lincoln will disguise as Reaper and get him inside the mountain. From there, he can disable the acid fog, so we can approach the mountain.” Clarke got up and handed her plate to Anya who put it in a wooden bowl filled with water.

 

“Can he do it? Get inside?”

 

“I believe in him.” Clarke said and Anya nodded.

 

Clarke turned around and moved towards her room, but Anya caught her wrist, “I… Good night, Clarke.”

 

Clarke smiled, “Good night, Anya.”

 

\---

 

“This argument is a waste of time. It is simple. They can’t breathe our air, why not just open the door and be done with it. Let them burn.” The bald man said.

 

Short chant of “Burn them!” rose around them

 

“No! Because they have a containment system, multiple airlocks, just like we had on the Ark. Our inside man can shut that down.”

 

“ _ If _ , he gets inside.”

 

“What if we shut it down from outside? You say the dam gives them power? Let’s take that away.” Lexa proposed.

 

“That dam withstood a nuclear war, Commander. I highly doubt…”

 

Clarke was cut off by a quick roar and a loud slam. The impact startled her a little and she turned her head to find the man from before with both his fists on the table. “All she offers, is no.” He growled.

 

“Quint.” Commander warned him.

 

“Apologies Commander, but the biggest army we’ve ever had, waits for us to give it a mission. The longer that takes, the more of our people die inside that mountain.”

 

“It’s the same for all of us.”

 

“We’ve lost thousands. How many have you lost, girl?” Quint straightened up, “She says she has a plan. I say, waiting for one man to get inside is not a very good one.”

 

“I agree with Quint. We have an army, let’s use it.” Another man said.

 

“We will. After Bellamy lowers their defenses, turns off the acid fog. I don’t care how many men you have, if you can’t get to your enemy, you can’t win.”

 

“You, are the enemy.” Quint spoke again.

 

“I’m sorry, have I done something to offend you?”

 

Quint started moving around the table, closer to Clarke. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Major Byrne and Anya move a little closer, and on the other side of the table, she saw Leif reach for his knife. “Yes. You burned my brother alive in a ring of fire.”

 

“He shouldn’t have attacked my ship.” Clarke stepped closer to him as well.

 

“You’re very brave under the Commander’s protection, aren’t you?”

 

“Noumou.” Lexa’s voice was as calm as ever.

 

“Ai nou na hon hukop in kom disha kru.” He said as he moved away from Clarke.

 

“Chit odon na sad yu in?” Leif finally spoke. “If you want to take your people and charge the mountain now, be my guest. But as long as they can burn us without ever coming out, I am not letting any of my people near that place.”

 

“You will if I command it.” The Commander said.

 

Leif looked at her with defiance in his eyes, but before he could say anything, Quint talked again, “And what do you suggest? That we do nothing?”

 

“For now. Let’s hope that the Sky girl chose a capable man for this mission. Once the fog is not a concern anymore, we can think of our next steps.”

 

“You are all right.” Lexa turned to Clarke. “Waiting on Bellamy is not a plan. It’s a prayer.” She turned to Quint, “But we cannot approach the mountain right now. I would be killing our entire army, if I issued such an order.”

 

For a moment there was silence, before Clarke began feeling shaky, “Excuse me, I need some air.” She quickly left the room. She breathed in clean air and already felt better, but she needed to clear her head some more, so she just looked to the forest and walked. She was going over the plans in her head, her pragmatic side thinking what were they going to do if Bellamy didn’t get in, her hopeful side praying that he will.

 

_ The dam survived because none of the bombs were directed at it. Maybe Raven could scavenge some more hydrazine and gunpowder. Aimed explosion could bring it down. _ But then she remembered that Mount Weather wasn’t just soldiers, but also families, children. They needed a plan that wouldn’t kill everyone inside.

 

As she tried to think of such a plan, she started having this, constant, nagging feeling of being watched. At first she tried not to dwell on it, but it got worse and worse, until sure enough, one time she turned to her left to find Quint looking up at her from a muddy road. “Not so brave now, are you, Sky girl?” He stated.

 

Clarke sped up her walk and briefly hid behind one of the trees. When she peeked over at the road, Quint was nowhere to be seen. She was about to walk completely from her cover, but just then, an arrow landed righted right next to her head and stuck itself in the tree. She finally saw Quint again, half hidden behind a bush and she quickly turned around and sprinted away. She heard another arrow whiz close to her and she thanked whoever taught Quint to shoot for teaching him so poorly.

 

Clarke ran until both her legs and lungs burned. When she slowed down to catch her breath, she heard rustling come from nearby shrubs. Thinking it was Quint, Clarke, in one swift move pulled out her gun and aimed it at the source of the noise. She was relieved to see it wasn’t him, but rather Major Byrne and so she lowered her gun, “Oh, Byrne, thank god. Quint…”

 

She couldn’t finish her sentence, because Byrne turned around and Clarke’s face filled with shock and terror. Byrne’s right arm was completely torn off. “Save yourself.” Were her last words, before she collapsed to the ground, where she laid motionless.

 

Clarke didn’t care how much her legs ached, or how much heavy her lungs seemed. The second Byrne’s body hit the ground, Clarke bolted out of there as fast as her legs allowed. She was sprinting for maybe two minutes, before she briefly heard another steps behind her and then she was being pinned to the ground by a large body. Two hands wrapped around her neck and she saw that it was Quint who catched up to her. With one arm, he released his grip on her and went for his knife, which he pulled out and lifted high in the air. “For my brother.” He snarled.

 

Suddenly, he cried out and Clarke noticed a familiar blade sticking out from his wrist. The Commander’s knife. She pushed him off of her and stood up, noticing that Lexa, accompanied by Anya and another warrior that Clarke didn’t recognize, was approaching her. She pulled out the knife, leaving Quint on the ground.

 

“Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op.” She said, angry.

 

“Thank you.” Clarke managed to get out, still breathless.

 

“Where is your guard?” Lexa asked, her tone questioning and little scolding. Clarke noticed that Anya was looking at her with worry.

 

“He killed her.” Clarke looked at Quint, although she wasn’t sure if she believed it. Quint seemed strong, but to tear off an arm, clothing and all…

 

“Em ste spichen! Ai gonplei kamp raun em en nou moun.”

 

“Yu gonplei ste odon.” Lexa replied cooly. “The kill is yours, Clarke.” she said as she tucked away her dagger.

 

Now all attention was on Clarke. Quint was looking at her with fear in his eyes, Lexa and Anya were waiting on her to execute him. She pulled out her gun and tried lifting it, but she couldn’t do it. “No.”

 

“Clarke…” Anya began.

 

“If I kill him, then I’m going to prove to him that I am the enemy. And I can’t do that.” Clarke argued.

 

Lexa and Anya looked at each other, while the guard with them just looked confused. Quint was looking at her like she’s gone insane, but she didn’t care. She stared at the Commander and she hoped that she would understand. Lexa lowered her head and peered at Clarke through her eyelashes, before lifting her chin up and redirecting her eyes on Quint.

 

“Dison taim yu laik don wigod op. Dula yu swega yu nou jomp op Klark ou odon Skaikru nodotaim nowe klin?” Lexa said, with a steel edge to her voice.

 

Clarke at this point had absolutely no clue what Lexa was saying.  _ I’ll just ask Anya later. _ Quint looked at Clarke with resentment, but also defeat. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, a great roar thundered through the forest. Everyone’s heads turned to the sound and they listened. Soon after the first roar, the second one followed, accompanied by heavy thuds.

 

“What is that?” Clarke whispered.

 

“Pauna…” Lexa replied unbelievingly, “Run!” She yelled.

 

They all turned around and ran as fast as their legs could carry them. Or at least Clarke did. Later, when she would reflect on this moment, she would realize that everyone was running at her speed just so she wouldn’t be left behind. Quint and Lexa’s other guard got separated from them, so it was just her, the Commander and Anya now. The sounds were slowly but surely getting closer.

 

“We need to hide!” Lexa said.

 

Just as she said that, Clarke spotted a rusted metal gate, “Over here, I found something!”

 

They passed through the narrow tunnel quickly and exited out of the other side. As soon as they did, they all wanted to turn back and run away from there. High stone steps, with bones and carcasses on them, blood splattered on the high walls surrounding them.

 

“What is this place?” Clarke asked.

 

“It’s her feeding ground.” Lexa replied.

 

“We can’t stay here.” Anya motioned with her head and moved back to the tunnel  Clarke and Lexa swiftly followed and they made the right choice, when right behind them, they heard the giant gorilla leap into the walled area. It could be heard running around, looking for it's prey, but to no avail. All three of them reemerged out of the tunnel entrance, unscathed. They didn't hear any more sounds coming from the monster, so assuming it gave up, they quietly made their way back to the small town.   
  
As soon as they entered, nearby guards rushed to their Commander, Quint among them, asking if something happened to them. Even despite their previous encounter, Clarke was glad that Quint made it back alive.   
  
"What happened, Heda?" Leif approached.   
  
"We were chased by the pauna living nearby, but we managed to escape it." Lexa replied.   
  
"Pauna?" A young man accompanying Leif asked with wide eyes and a hint of a smile. Something about his eyes scared Clarke. They didn't look like wide from fear. No, what she saw in those eyes was eagerness and anticipation. As if such a monster living so close to him was the best news he could receive.   
  
"Don't even think about it, you are too young for this." Leif turned to him and put his hand on the man's shoulder.   
  
"I am not any younger than you were, uncle." He retorted.   
  
"You are not as skilled as I was."   
  
Clarke couldn't believe what she was hearing. They haven't said it explicitly, but they were talking about killing it. What's more, they talked as if Leif already killed one. Anya did say that Leif is a great warrior, but this…

 

“And I will not hear more of this.” Leif cut him off, before he could argument any further.

 

\---

 

“We need another plan, if Bellamy fails.” Lexa said, once they were again assembled in the war council room.

 

Clarke silently prayed that he wouldn’t, but she couldn’t deny that Lexa was right. It was an extremely risky plan with too many variables and Clarke knew that it was very possible for Bellamy to not even make it inside.

 

“What about the dam?” Anya asked, her head tilted in question.

 

“What about it?” Clarke was not sure what was going on in the older blonde’s head.

 

“You launched the missiles at our village from afar. Couldn’t you do the same for the dam?”

 

“Clarke already said that it survived a nuclear apocalypse and that…” Lexa spoke, but Anya cut her off.

 

“Beja, Heda, but… It survived the apocalypse because none of the missiles were aimed at it.”

 

“So if we direct the rockets on it, we could take it away.” Clarke understood what Anya was saying now.

 

“Is it possible?” The Commander asked.

 

“I would have to talk with Raven, but, yes, I think it is.”

 

“And after it’s safe to approach the mountain? What then?” Leif spoke up.

  
“Let’s not worry about that now. We’ve had enough for one day, let us talk again tomorrow.” Lexa said and gestured for everyone to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you enjoyed it, even if it was shorter. I know it isn't as action-packed as in the show, but it's done more logically, at least that's what I think. Also, don't expect the next chapter soon. Because I rethinked almost the entire story, it's going to be harder writing it down, than when I had it completely planned out. Also, I made the fatal error of buying Overwatch, just as school started again, so, that has been my life, for the past month or so.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans are starting to shape up and Clarke and Anya have to confront their feelings for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought I was dead, didn't you?

“Those were flares. Takes almost nothing to launch those. Something with actual power? That’s going to be a lot harder.”

 

“But not impossible.” Clarke remarked.

 

“No. Not impossible.” Raven answered.

 

“Then I need you to start looking into it.”

 

\---

 

“You are weak.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“You don’t know how to fight without your guns.”

 

“You seem to be forgetting I beat you once.”

 

“You seem to be forgetting that I was unconscious for some time before the fight. And even then it was a close fight.” Anya smirked.

 

“So what do you suggest, you great warrior?” Clarke smirked back.

 

“We start training. You have to know how to defend yourself with our weapons.” Anya gestured to a bundle of swords and spears, that were leaning against a wall in Anya’s house (a place that Clarke maybe too quickly started calling ‘home’).

 

“And why should I know that?”

 

“Because you’re too important to die.” Anya said matter-of-factly.

 

Clarke did her best at hiding her smile upon hearing those words and Anya of course noticed. “Because the plan would fail without you.” She quickly added.

 

“Whatever you say.”

 

“We start tomorrow, before the sun rises.”

 

“Fine. We’ll train alone?”

 

“Yes, at least for the beginning. You have to learn the basics.” The older blonde said seriously.

 

“Maybe one day I will beat you normally without having to sedate you first.” Clarke laughed.

 

“Maybe you will.” Anya smiled back.

 

Clarke already started looking more Grounder with each day that passed. Clothes with vibrant colours were slowly being replaced by dark and leather. It wasn’t until she donned a knee-length black coat, that she noticed just how different she looks. And she felt better than she ever did in her own clothes.

 

She was getting to know the people as well. Most regarded her with suspicion, and a lot clearly still hated her and all the other Sky people, but there were a few who talked to her, who conversed freely. Leif and his nephew, Brennt his name was, especially took interest in the skaikru. They always seemed to have something to talk about with Clarke.

 

“Life’s always been the same here. War with the mountain, war with other clans. Every day felt like the one before, a constant struggle. The Coalition resolved some of that, that is true, but it wasn’t until you came and gave us a chance to actually fight back against the maunon, that I finally saw hope. That I saw our lives could change, for the better.” Leif said to her. Brennt looked on the entire time, but didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to, his eyes said more than enough. They burned with hatred when his uncle spoke of the mountain and they looked hopeful when he heard of peace.

 

Commander was happy when she learned that Raven would be able to construct a missile and they finally started putting together a plan. A real plan.

 

“After we take out the dam. What then?” Leif asked.

 

“They most likely have a backup generator. You know, in case the dam fails. It’s going to run on fossil fuels and it won’t last forever. But the most important thing, is that it won’t power the whole facility. It’s going to have limited capacity and it will only power the life support, at least if someone smart designed it. They wouldn’t be able to release the fog even if they wanted to.” Raven said.

 

“And we will try. Raven will build a heat generator, that we can push into the fog range. Their thermal sensors will pick it up and we will see if they can attack or not.”

 

“And if they can?” Brennt spoke up.

 

“Then Bellamy truly is our only hope. And we should have heard from him by now.” Clarke stated sadly, “And Lincoln didn’t come back.”

 

“Yet.” Kane said hopefully and Clarke nodded.

 

\---

 

“Feet together. Now spread your legs a little. Now with your right leg, take a step back. This is the stance you should always be in during a fight, when you’re not advancing or retreating. Always move carefully. Stance is the most important part of combat. Of our combat. Hands up, keep them close to your head, so you can protect it.” Anya has instructed Clarke as she was showing what to do and the younger blonde tried to mimic the posture perfectly. She couldn’t, of course, not compared to someone who was doing this for years prior, but Anya was impressed just how natural Clarke looked like this.

 

“When will I get a sword?” Clarke asked.

 

“Once you learn to use your hands.” Anya was amused at her impatience. And glad that she was willing to learn.

 

“Great. And why do you have a sword?”

 

“Because it’s only fair that I get an advantage.”

 

“Your logic seems faulty.”

 

“I don’t think so. It always worked before.”

 

\---

 

“Wrong. Footwork. Keep your hands up.” Were probably the only things Clarke heard for the last 3 hours. At least the only things she remembered. But she had to admit that Anya was a good teacher. She punished when Clarke did something wrong, but praised when she did something right. And along her vocal praise, went a little smile, that Anya must have thought Clarke wouldn’t see. But she did. And she tried all the harder to see it more often.

 

“I need a break.” Clarke said after another hour. Her feet were numb, her hands were incredibly heavy, and she wanted to spend at least five minutes without getting knocked on her back.

 

“Tired already? We’ve barely started.” Anya smirked.

 

“You’re sweating too.” Clarke protested.

 

“Doesn’t mean I’m tired.”

 

“Well, I need a drink. And I’m hungry.”

 

“So am I. Let’s go inside, we can continue later.”

 

They made their way inside and Anya poured them two cups of water, and after they gulped them down, she poured them another. Clarke sat down on the somewhat preserved sofa, that Anya had in her main room, where she had her small fireplace, eating table and a small armory. Besides this room, there were two more, a kitchen that the main room was openly connected to and a bathroom, with a large wooden basin. Everything was Grounder looking, but surprisingly clean. The kitchen was well maintained, the windows were not smashed in and the walls weren't made of just sheets of metal, but of bricks, with actual drywall on them. Clarke of course knew, that this was because of Anya's higher position and she was grateful that Anya allowed her to stay here, for the time being.

 

She wasn't of course grateful just because of the place she lived in, but because of the person she lived with. She has grown to like Anya and she loved spending time with her. Conversation came easily for them, and despite their rough start, Clarke was happy to call Anya her friend.

 

“When will I get a sword?” Clarke asked again once Anya brought them food and sat down beside her.

 

“Tomorrow, maybe. We’ll see how you learn today.”

 

"And how am I doing so far?" Clarke inquired.

 

"Good. For a sky girl." Anya nudged her shoulder.

 

Clarke's mouth half quirked in a smile and she nudged her back. They ate their dried meat and drank some more water, while talking about their lives before. Clarke explained a little of how life was on the Ark and Anya revealed some of what it was to live here before the Coalition was formed. After they finished their meals, Anya got up and took away their cups. Being a Grounder however, her quiet footsteps were easily completely muffled by outside noise and so when Clarke got up as well, she was caught off guard by Anya standing right in front of her, obviously on her way back to sit down, standing so close that she could feel the older blonde’s breath on her face.

 

She was beautiful this close. She was beautiful always, but from this distance and rid of any warpaint, Clarke could really appreciate her. Blood was rushing to her cheeks and she couldn’t not notice Anya’s eyes being glued to Clarke’s lips. Clarke found her own gaze straying there as well.

 

\---

 

Anya felt like her heart would stop any moment.She almost couldn’t hear anything because of all the blood rushing in her ears and she was fairly certain that she forgot how to breathe. She knew that Clarke was beautiful, she wasn’t blind after all, but seeing her so close…

 

Everything about Clarke, her eyes, her hair, her nose and her lips, god, her lips. She couldn’t stop staring, she knew this, but when she, just for the briefest second, looked to Clarke’s eyes, she found them lingering on Anya’s lips as well. Upon seeing this, she couldn’t help but lean in and when she didn’t see Clarke step back, she brought her hand to the curve of Clarke’s side near her hip and closed the short distance completely.

 

At first, it was just a brush of lips, gentle against each other, but Anya wanted a bit more, wanted to really kiss Clarke. So she did just that. They moved against each other slowly, Clarke’s hand finding a spot on the small of Anya’s back, their noses touching and their eyes closed. Their bodies were almost completely flush against each other and both filled with the feeling that the rest of the world doesn’t exist right now. That in this moment, where Anya’s lips are sliding against Clarke’s, where both of them are relaxed against each other, they could just ignore the war they are in and for once, just be.

 

But after a couple more seconds, Clarke seemed to get a hold of herself and pulled away. “I’m sorry, I…”

 

“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.” Anya tried arguing, even though she already missed the feeling.

 

"No, it's not that, I didn't exactly do anything to stop you, it's just... I'm not ready to be with anyone, not yet." 

 

"You don't have to explain yourself to me Clarke." Anya shook her head. 

 

"Maybe I don't, but I want you to know. It's not what I expected, but I am glad that it happened. I just need more time, ok?"

 

"Of course. And again, I am sorry." she apologized again, looking down on the floor.

 

"Don't be."

 

\---

 

The following few hours were awkward, as both of them weren’t sure how to act around each other after the kiss, except to try and do some more training. Anya was cursing herself for giving in and Clarke was trying to sort out what she felt, so neither were really focused on fighting, but they still tried. Clarke didn’t know that Anya felt like that towards her and she definitely didn’t know that she could feel like that towards Anya. Well, she knew there was some sort of affection towards the older blonde. But with the kiss…

 

“The Commander calls for a meeting.” Brennt shouted across the yard and left.

 

They both nodded in his direction and made their way to the underground war council. First thing Clarke noticed was just how empty the room was. It was just her, Anya, Lexa, Leif, his nephew, Kane and a couple of guards nearby.

 

“I’m leaving for Camp Jaha now and I thought that maybe you would like to go as well.” Kane spoke first, little smile on his lips.

 

She glanced at Anya, whose face remained neutral, and decided that it may not be the worst of ideas, if just to clear her head a little. “Sure, it’ll be good to see them again.”

 

“And Octavia will be staying here, or leaving with you?” Commander asked.

 

“She will be going with us.” Kane nodded and Lexa nodded back.

 

“That means no Sky person will remain here?” Leif inquired.

 

“No. Maybe for the better, it will lower the tensions.” Lexa said.

 

“Commander, I believe we talked about something.” Kane turned to her.

 

“We did. Indra and her men are ready outside, they will accompany you to your camp.”

 

“I would like to go as well.” Brennt stepped forward. Clarke noticed that he frequently conversed with Kane or even Raven.

 

“Why?” Leif asked.

 

“Not much to do here. Over there I could at least help them learn to fight.” He shrugged.

 

Clarke still couldn’t grasp how the two of them could be so nonchalant about this whole situation. They were in war, and yet they acted like it couldn’t bother them less.

 

“Well, if Kane doesn’t object, then neither do I. It’s Leif and Anya I need to stay here anyway.” Lexa gestured to them.

 

Everything that needed to be said was said and so Kane accepted the young man’s offer and they left the room. Lexa and Leif stayed inside, but Anya followed them out. Outside, Indra was waiting for them, with a small group of grounders that would presumably accompany them to their camp and help them with hunting and training. Clarke hoped that people back at camp would be, if not welcoming, at least understanding why it’s necessary for grounders to help them. After all, only the hundred have some sort of resemblance of survival skills, and most of them are locked in Mt. Weather.

 

Clarke snapped out of her train of thoughts when she noticed Anya approaching. “I spoke to my people. I have let them know that you have the authority of my second. They will listen to you, with only Indra being above you in position. Although I have a feeling that you would have made them listen even if I didn’t do this.”

 

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that. Your people won’t like listening to a sky person.” Clarke smiled.

 

“Some, maybe. But you are a born leader. Most here already noticed. I believe that even your sky people will soon learn that.”

 

“My mom is the chancellor.” Clarke shook her head.

 

Anya smirked in response, “Officially, yes.”

 

“We are ready to go.” Kane said and Clarke nodded at him.

 

“Keep training, maybe Brennt can teach you when I can’t. We’ll make a warrior out of you yet.” Anya said with an almost invisible smirk.

 

“I’ll ask him.” She said and looked over her shoulder. People were slowly moving out of TonDC towards Camp Jaha. “I have to go. I’ll see you when I get back.” She moved a couple of steps but had to turn back, “Take care of yourself and… try and stay safe Anya.”

 

“You too, Clarke of the Sky people.”

 

It was harder than it should be, really, for Clarke to leave TonDC, but the place quickly grew on her. The small marketplace where they picked up their breakfasts, the yard where they started training, the sofa that she could sit on after a whole day of planning. It all brought some comfort for her. Even the damn planning room somewhat grew on her. It was never really boring in this place, with Lexa wanting a plan and Leif carefully challenging her. But she came to know the man and knew that his loyalty lay with his commander. Same how she knew that she couldn’t delay her leaving this place any longer. And so Clarke mounted up on her horse and took off.

 

\---

 

Of course, the Earth being what it is, the journey back was anything but smooth. Halfway to the camp, two maunon tried to kill Clarke with a sniper rifle. Thankfully, small group of their entourage led by Indra broke off to cover their flanks and spotted the snipers before they could make their move. Well, almost. They managed to get one shot out, but due to being shot by an arrow from behind, he missed Clarke ad hit the grounder riding behind her.

 

Although Indra wanted to kill them both, Clarke told her to spare one of them, so they could interrogate him when they arrived. And thus, now they’re standing in front of the same airlock where Anya was held the first time she was here. Except now, inside was someone who actually wanted to wage war with her.

 

“I want to be there when you interrogate him.” Came a voice from behind her.

 

Clarke turned around and saw that it was Brennt who came to see the prisoner.

 

“Why?”

 

“In case you need help, you know, getting some information out of him.” He cocked his head to the side.

 

Clarke smiled a little bit at this.  _ Of course _ . “I’ll let you know if we need some help with him.”

 

He nodded and went to leave, but Clarke remembered something, “Brennt?” She called out to him.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Do you think we could train later? Anya tried teaching me how to fight like you and I could use the practice.”

 

“Of course Clarke. Just say when.”

 

\---

 

“You’re natural at this.” He laughed after an hour or so of sparring.

 

“Please. I haven’t even once come close to hitting you.” Clarke bent forward and put her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath.

 

“You still did better than I expected. And I have been trained since I could walk, by the best there are. Of course it will take some time before you can match me. But you have the potential. Your movements are fluid, you think about your strikes, you somehow manage to not expose your flanks, even though you are just a beginner.”

 

“Yeah, Anya warned me about that. Multiple times. Always after she landed me on my ass by coming from the side.”

 

“Yes, that does sound like Anya.” He nodded and smiled.

 

Clarke wanted to ask if she trained him as well, but realized how that would be impossible, considering he was from a different clan and the coalition was most likely not even formed when he started training. “So who trained you?” She asked instead.

 

His eyes and the way he cast his glance at his feet told Clarke all she needed to know. “Your father, of course, I’m sorry for asking.”

 

Brennt just shook his head, “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m guessing Anya told you? No matter, yes it was my father who took care of most of my training. After he died, my uncle took over. They both made sure that I would not fall to anyone’s blade.”

 

“I did hear that Leif is a great warrior.”

 

“Not just a warrior. He’s also a great leader. Everyone on the council respects him. But that’s enough talking, we were supposed to train.”

 

“I was hoping you would forget.” Clarke smiled weakly as she got back in her fighting stance.

 

“Why don’t you give the sky girl a little pause. I would test the skill you’ve talked so much about.” Indra stepped in their little arena they made with small rocks and pebbles.

 

Brennt looked to Clarke and upon seeing her nod drew his sword. “I accept the challenge.”

 

Indra motioned for the guard accompanying her to step outside of the circle and drew her sword as well. Clarke with a couple of careful steps backwards also made her way to the edge of the arena and anticipated who would strike first.

 

They circled around for a few seconds, measuring each other up and awaiting any sort of attack. It was Brennt who moved first. In a flash he charged at Indra with his sword held high for an overhead attack, but before he slashed, he lowered his arm and actually attacked from below. Indra managed to quickly change the course of her parry, but her sword was now at a weird angle, making it easy for Brennt to slam his shoulder into her, bringing her to the ground.

 

Clarke thought that the fight was awfully short before she saw Indra roll out of the way of the next strike.  _ Of course she wouldn’t just give up _ . She regained her balance and now took the opportunity to strike back.

 

\---

 

As soon as the word of the assassination attempt reached TonDC, Lexa sent Anya with a couple of her fastest riders to Camp Jaha to ensure no one else got hurt. Anya of course suspected that Lexa sent her specifically because she noticed just how awkward Anya was without Clarke around. But it wasn’t her fault, she just got used to having the young blonde around too fast.

 

The guards opened the gate for her without arguments and she handed the reins from her horse to one of her warriors, when she noticed a gathering of people near one of the walls of the Ark. As she approached, she noticed what everyone was so intently watching, a duel between Brennt and Indra. She pushed her way through so she could watch the battle closely.

 

Anya knew that although her friend was great with her sword, it was just a matter of time before the young one would find one opening, one exposed weakness. And she saw how he was looking for it, scanning the grip on her sword to see if it falters, her feet to see if she would misstep. But it was good to see he still respected her enough to not recklessly attack.  _ How long has this been going on, they’re both so scared to advance _ , Anya thought.

 

Just then, Brennt saw his opportunity, a step in the slightly wrong direction and he lunged forward, quickly striking Indra’s sword out of the way and slamming into her. As she was falling, he quickly caught her hand and struck her wrist with the end of his sword, causing Indra to grunt with pain and drop her blade. He fell the rest of the way with her, only landing on his knees, straddling her, with one hand restraining hers and the other one holding his sword to her throat.

 

For a second, he looked at her like he would actually kill her, but Anya knew better. They both started laughing and got up, Brennt holding out a hand to Indra to help her up. “I still think you’re way too confident for your own good.” Indra stated.

 

“For a good reason apparently.” He retorted, smiling, “You haven’t changed your style even a little bit.”

 

“It worked last time.”

 

Anya smiled as she listened to them talk for a while. She guessed that they probably didn’t get the time to do so while they were in TonDC, which was surprising considering how often she found them together in every one of the previous times the Blue Cliff visited. The first time, Brennt was fascinated by the way Indra fought and challenged her. She beat him handily, of course, but it seems like since then, Leif trained him to the point where he could defeat her. She wouldn’t be surprised if the next time it was Indra who beat him, though.

 

“ _ Come on, let’s go and see if we can find something to drink in this place. _ ” Brennt said, switching to trigedasleng ad Indra nodded.

 

“ _ I don’t remember Lexa sending you here to drink. _ ” Anya voiced her thoughts aloud, causing everyone who was still around to look at her.

 

“ _ Anya. I wasn’t… Why are you here? _ ” Indra asked, clearly thrown off.

 

Anya just smiled and shook her head, “ _ Go. We can talk later. _ ”

 

Indra nodded and motioned for her guard to follow her. Anya watched them leave and started looking at the people around her. It didn’t take her long before she spotted the golden hair, standing out in the crowd. Clarke was already looking at her and Anya’s heart sped up when she started walking toward her.

 

“Hi.” Clarke started.

 

“Hello, Clarke.” Anya nodded.

 

“So,” Clarke smirked, “couldn’t do it without me, huh?”

 

Anya just narrowed her eyes and grunted as a response, causing Clarke to laugh lightly. “We heard about the mountain men attack. Lexa just wanted to be sure no one else got hurt.”

 

“Just Lexa?”

 

“Leif was slightly concerned as well.”

 

“Was he now?”

 

Anya forcibly exhaled from her nose and closed her eyes, knowing what Clarke wanted to hear. “I was afraid.”

 

Clarke dropped her teasing smile, obviously not expecting Anya to actually admit it. “Hey, Anya, look at me.” Anya opened her eyes and brown stared into blue. “Nothing happened to me. I’m okay. So you don’t need to worry yourself.”

 

The older blonde took a deep breath and nodded. “I’m sorry, I just…”

 

“I know,” Clarke placed her hand on Anya’s biceps and ran her thumb over it soothingly, “I would be afraid too.”

 

Anya quickly composed herself and changed the topic, “The assassin, they told me you captured him?”

 

“We did, he’s being held in the airlock. The one where you were recovering.”

 

“Well, good to know I really wasn’t a prisoner then.” Anya’s lips quirked in a small smile.

 

“You know you weren’t. And we have to keep him there, it’s the only place where the radiation won’t kill him.” Clarke said.

 

“Did you get something out of him already?”

 

“He’s still not awake. He passed out after receiving severe radiation burns, but they will let me know as soon as he’s awake.”

 

“What happened to the man he shot?”

 

“Mom tried, but he didn’t make it.” Clarke stated sadly.

 

Anya visibly clenched her teeth and her eyes burned with hatred, “Let’s hope he will be among the last killed by the mountain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the long wait, but school kept getting in the way and when I finally had the time to write, I didn't know what, because I decided to kind of change the course of this thing. I was planning on this being a Clarke/Anya/Lexa fic, but I just can't bring myself to do it. So while all three of them will of course interact, it's going to be just Clarke/Anya from now on, because I fell in love with the pairing and for this story at least, can't imagine either of them to be with someone else.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The radio silence from Mt. Weather ends and Clarke reminds Abby who's actually in power.

“It’s his blood Abby.” Jackson says. “There are tracers of anomalies, genetic ones… The likes of which couldn’t have come from anywhere but a sky person.”

 

“They’ve already started.” Almost all color drained from Clarke’s face. Mere moments later, she regained her composure and went straight to the airlock, only to be stopped by Kane.

 

“What are you doing, Clarke?”

 

“I’m going to kill him.” She simply stated.

 

“No you are not.” Abby stood before her, “You are not in charge here, Clarke. Not anymore.”

 

“Clarke.” Anya piped up behind her.

 

Clarke knew that her mom was the chancellor. Yet it was hard to accept, after being a leader, the one everyone looked to for answers, that she wasn’t in control anymore. She almost burned a hole in the airlock door, the way she glared at Emerson and her mother almost recoiled when that gaze wa redirected at her. She released a breath and looked behind her, to see Anya watching the scene unfolding. She motioned with her head for them to leave and pleaded with a little smile that Clarke would come.

 

“Let’s go train. At least you can take out all that rage on me.” Anya said once they were outside.

 

“You know I wouldn’t do that.” She sighed.

 

“Might not be the worst of ideas. If you can channel your rage effectively, it would help you fight. Just don’t let it blind you Clarke.”

 

Clarke picked up her sword and weighted it for a while. “They’re going to kill them.”

 

“No, they aren’t. Either Bellamy will get in, or we will, on our own. Either way, we’re getting them out of that forsaken place.”

 

“It’s been way too long Anya. He should have contacted us already.”

 

“Our own way it is then. Raven will build the missile and we will break through. We will get all of our people back.” Anya said, steel resolve in her voice.

 

“I’m sorry, I… I’m scared that they started harvesting our people when they’ve been doing it to yours for years.”

 

“What they’re doing is not right. Whether they do it to your people or mine, whether they do it once or for decades. I want to level that place to the ground.”

 

“And I’m with you. We’ll see this through together.” Clarke nodded.

 

“Good. Now, raise your sword.” Anya said as she did the same.

 

\---

 

“I don’t know if there is enough. Of hydrazine, gunpowder, sulfur, anything.” Raven was sitting in her room. She glanced to the young grounder behind Clarke. “Scared someone might shoot you inside the Ark?”

 

Clarke looked to Brennt, “It’s okay, wait outside.” He then curtly nodded and made his way out of the room. “After the assassination attempt… Anya’s orders.”

 

“Whatever, Clarke.”

 

Clarke sighed, seeing Raven still angry at her was understandable, but disheartening nonetheless. “Raven, I know you can figure out a way to do it.”

 

“What happened to not killing everyone inside?”

 

“That is not a luxury we can afford.” She shook her head.

 

Raven lowered her head to look at the ground, realizing that what Clarke was saying was true. She exhaled and spoke again, “If I can’t launch them, there may be another way. You know we can hide heat signature, theoretically, we could sneak in the dam directly and blow it up from inside.”

 

“That sounds way more risky. I would rather try a missile first, if we could.”

 

“Yeah, me too. Just letting you know that there is an alternative.”

 

“Thank you Raven.” Clarke nodded gratefully. She spotted the radio on a table at the end of the room and her throat tightened up. “Still nothing?” She asked, knowing the answer.

 

“Nothing.” Raven breathed out. “I don’t even hope anymore. It’s been way too long.”

 

“What could have went wrong...”

 

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up thinking like that. This one isn’t on you.”

 

“Isn’t it though?” Clarke asked rhetorically more than anything and left the room.

 

She made her way outside the Ark and breathed in, the dense air inside being too much for her. As she looked over in the direction of Mount Weather, her heart squeezed painfully. Almost all that remained of the hundred were locked up in there, god knows what happening to them. And as if that wasn’t enough, she sent Bellamy there as well. Sure, they may have not gotten along in the beginning, but they relied on each other and after getting to really know him, she was glad to call him her friend. A friend she probably sent to his death.

 

“I’m guessing your friend’s status is still unknown.” Brennt stood at her side.

 

“What if I killed him by sending him there?”

 

“What if you didn’t and he just can’t get to a radio?” Brennt asked back. “You cannot know for sure Clarke, so I don’t think you need torture yourself. It’s just going to weigh heavy on your mind, and we will need your mind in the coming days.”

 

Clarke knew that he was right, but she still couldn’t help but worry. The next day she spent just training with Anya and Brennt and practising her trigedasleng in the evenings with the former. The grounders set up their tents outside the Ark and weirdly enough, Clarke felt more comfortable in this little ghetto, then she did in the Ark. Of course she still slept inside the hulking metal monster, but she found she missed the house in TonDC, despite spending just a few days there.

 

She was just glad she didn’t have to miss Anya.

 

Even though her plan originally was to clear her head a little after what happened, it all went out the window the moment Anya arrived. Having any clear thoughts was nigh impossible, with her presence being so intoxicating. It was distracting her when she was swordfighting, it was distracting when she was trying to learn their language, it was distracting when she was planning the next steps with Raven, hell it was distracting when she was trying to sleep, because she was sleeping alone in her cold metal room, while Anya was too far away outside and not just next room like in TonDC.

 

She knew it was ridiculous, there was hardly any time for this, with war around them, them being enemies not even that long ago. And yet…

 

\---

 

“ _Don’t you think I know that?_ ” Anya asked Indra after the leader of TonDC came to visit her in her tent.

 

“ _I don’t know Anya. You’re certainly not behaving as if you know._ ” Indra said, with unusual concern in her voice. “ _Be careful. This is a dangerous time to start following your heart. Especially if it chose one of the Sky people. We don’t know them well enough._ ”

 

Anya sighed, “ _I am well aware. But…_ ”

 

Just as she wanted to continue, the tent flap was pulled slightly open and the topic of their conversation, a certain gorgeous blonde came into the view.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Clarke said as soon as she stepped foot inside.

 

Indra nodded and got up. “I was leaving anyway.”

 

She made her way around Clarke and outside, leaving the two of them alone.

 

“What do you need Clarke?”

 

“I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I would walk around a bit and I guess I ended up here.”

 

“Well, don’t just stand there, you can sit down.” She motioned to a chair. “Do you want something to drink or eat? Indra and her party caught a deer earlier today.”

 

“I saw they took some of the Ark guard with them?”

 

“Yes, that’s why we’re here after all, to teach skaikru how to survive on the ground.”

 

“We managed before.” Clarke said under her breath.

 

“Barely, Clarke.” Anya smiled. “What about the missile? Can Raven do it after all?”

 

“Most likely. Last time I spoke to her she sounded pretty confident.”

 

“Good.” Anya nodded. “So, what brings you here?”

 

“I can’t just come visit you?” Clarke smirked which brought a slight blush to Anya’s cheeks.

 

“Of course you can, I just wasn’t expecting you.”

 

“We still haven’t really talked about what happened in TonDC.”

 

“Oh.” Anya looked down and scratched the back of her neck. Clarke couldn’t deny that it was endearing, seeing her so flustered. “I know I shouldn’t have, it’s inappropriate, it probably looked like I was trying to take advantage of you, because you lived in my house and…”

 

Clarke reached out and took Anya’s hand in hers. “Anya, hold on.” She stopped her from rambling further. “I didn’t say I didn’t want to. It’s still too early for me, with everything that happened, but…” She took a deep breath and continued, “If being on the ground taught me anything, it’s that none of us know much time we have left and I would rather not waste any of it.”

 

Anya blinked a couple of times, trying to process what exactly she just heard. “Wait, what exactly are you saying, Clarke?”

 

“Let’s just see where it goes, ok? If you want to, that is.”

 

Anya was still looking at her with wide eyes and Clarke suddenly got very worried that she assumed too much. The silence between them, although short, was terrifying, until Clarke noticed a small quirk on Anya’s lips. “I want to.” She said, her voice low and husky and god she made it hard for Clarke to take it slowly. But she knew she just couldn’t, not yet, not until she could give her all.

 

Clarke smiled in return and got up, “I guess I should go, it’s late and we both need to sleep.”

 

“Yes, lots to do in the days ahead of us.” Anya stood up as well. “Good night, Clarke.” She smiled her almost invisible smile, that Clarke came to recognize.

 

Looking at Anya however, Clarke thought, _Maybe I can give a little now_. And so she stepped forward and snaked her arm around Anya’s waist, resting it on the small of her back as she closed the distance between them. She saw Anya’s eyes close in expectation before her own fluttered shut when their lips met in a slow, tentative kiss.

 

Anya was of course respectful, only putting her hand on Clarke’s, letting the younger one set the pace. Inside of course, she was giddy and excited, something that wasn’t really befitting a Trikru general, but right now, she didn’t care. She just allowed herself to be hopeful in this one fleeting moment, where her lips were slowly moving against Clarke’s. But she was a bit thankful when Clarke ended the kiss, because even though it was slow and careful, she still couldn’t help the heat pooling in her lower abdomen. And she definitely wasn’t sure how much she could handle if they kept going longer.

 

Anya opened her eyes and was glad to see Clarke looking at her with no regret, just biting her lip in a way that was probably not supposed to be seductive, yet it served that exact purpose to her.

 

“Good night, Anya.” Clarke smiled and made her way out of her tent, leaving Anya by herself.

 

She felt like she was rooted to the ground, her lips on fire and she didn’t even notice the big smile that made it’s way on her face. It was a good couple of moments before she realized she’s still standing in the same place, so she stumbled into her bed, taking off few layers so she could sleep more comfortably. She felt pleasantly exhausted for the first time in years, and that was all due to a fact that when she licked her lips, she could still taste Clarke on them. Sleep took over her fast and when she woke up, she didn’t remember dreaming of sapphire eyes, and sun-touched hair.

 

\---

 

“How long have you been here?” Anya asked as she saw Clarke sitting by the radio.

 

“Since morning.” Clarke looked at her with tired eyes.

 

“You’re not giving up, are you?” Anya sat down on a chair beside her.

 

“Would you?”

 

“No, probably not.”

 

Just then, footsteps could be heard from down the hallway and a moment later, Raven entered the room. “I didn’t expect you to still be here…” she said before noticing Anya. Raven eyed her suspiciously, not really thrilled to see her in her workshop. Just as she was about to speak her mind about the grounder’s presence, the radio crackled to life and a voice that they all almost stopped hoping to hear came through.

 

“This is Bellamy, I’m in Mt. Weather, is anyone there?”

 

“Bellamy…” Clarke breathed out and immediately picked up the radio. “I’m here.”

 

“Clarke, thank god.”

 

“What happened, we thought you didn’t make it.”

 

“I almost didn’t. I don’t have much time to explain, but Lincoln gave in. They locked all of them up and I’m afraid it’s going to get real ugly, real fast. We have to be faster.”

 

“We are trying as fast as we can here. But we need you to turn off the acid fog and when the time comes, release the grounders. We need all the help we can get.”

 

“I’ll do my best. And Clarke, there are kids here, we need a plan that doesn’t involve killing everyone.”

 

Clarke pressed the button so she coud reply, but Anya spoke faster. “You know that’s not possible, Bellamy.”

 

“Who’s that?”

 

Clarke sighed and handed the device to Anya, motioning where to press for Bell to hear her. “Anya.”

 

“Of course, who else.”

 

“If we spare the children, then what do you think they will do if we kill their parents? If we spare all of them, do you think they will just leave us be? Think, Bellamy.” She said, ignoring his remark.

 

“I have to go, I will try and make it here tomorrow.”

 

The radio went silent and Clarke put her elbows on the table while rubbing her temples, Raven pinched the bridge of her nose and Anya put down the transmitter. They were all thinking about everything that was said, Clarke and Raven not wanting to admit that Anya was right, while Anya was imagining all the ways this could go bad for them if they didn’t just level that place to the ground.

 

“So, what do we do?” Raven sighed.

 

“Right now? You keep working on the missile, I’m going to get us time.” Clarke said, with a newly found energy in her voice. She motioned with her head for Anya to come with her and they left, Clarke headed straight for the grounder camp with Anya being asked to wait for her in front of the Ark.

 

“Indra. I need your help.” She addressed the woman in front of her, who was sharpening her sword.

 

“With what?” She stood up and quirked a brow.

 

“We just heard from Bellamy, he got in.” When Octavia heard that, she stood up as well. “I need to buy him time and I need you for that.”

 

“Why didn’t you just tell Anya to command us?”

 

“I wanted her to see that you would listen to me without her behind my back. Are you coming with or not?” She pressed further.

 

“Maybe she was right about you. Hoz op!” She shouted to the other grounders who were around and they immediately moved out.

 

The small assembled warband joined again by Anya made their way to the airlock, guarded just by a single man who to his credit tried to go for his shock baton, but was dismissed instantly by Clarke. Although she still wanted to see Emerson dead, Clarke knew that this was more important. Instead, she told him to get dressed in his patched up hazmat suit and let him out of the airlock. As soon as he got out, two of the grounders grabbed him by his arms, so he couldn’t even try anything and they almost dragged him outside.

 

Of course, a group of grounders escorting a man in a hazmat suit was bound to gather quite a commotion around them. People were looking at them, not knowing what was happening, some came closer to make sure it was the mountain man, some were content to just watch from afar. As was expected, when they neared the gate, they were finally noticed and stopped by Abby and Kane, who were sitting together, most likely discussing what to do with the prisoner.

 

“Clarke, what are you doing?” Kane tried for the first time, but Clarke just kept going, forcing her mother to stand in front of her. “Clarke, stop!”

 

“No, I’m letting the prisoner go.” She stated.

 

“Absolutely not.” She looked like at Clarke like she was crazy. _Can’t really blame her, I guess_ , Clarke thought.

 

“He hasn’t told us anything yet.” Kane objected.

 

“He doesn’t have to. He’s going to tell them something.” Clarke said.

 

Abby just shook her head and turned around to the guards gathered behind her. “Take the prisoner back to the airlock, now!”

 

But as they tried to seize him, the grounders stepped forward, putting their hands on their swords and halfway drawing them, daring the Ark guard to make one wrong move. They quickly backed off, raising their weapons, but not quite putting their fingers on the trigger, Clarke noticed.

 

Feeling confident with the grounders behind her, defending her decisions, Clarke looked her mother straight in the eyes and said loud enough for those around to hear her, “You may be the chancellor, but I’m in charge.”

 

Abby was shocked that her daughter would have the gall to stand up to her like this, but she couldn’t help but feel like she was right. She led the 100 before the rest ever made it down, she was the one to usually deal with the commander and in the situation they were in, she obviously knew what to do more than Abby in this situation. Still, Abby was the chancellor, she couldn’t just hand over all the power to her daughter.

 

“Anya, Indra…” She tried, “Tell your people to stand down, before this gets out of hand.”

 

Clarke was certain that they wouldn’t, so she just slightly cocked her head to one side, without words asking her mother “ _Really?”_

 

“No.” Indra’s voice was resolute, while Anya just stared the Chancellor down with defiance in her eyes and Clarke smirked at their confidence in her.

 

“People could get hurt.” Abby tried to reason.

 

“Not if you get out of my way.” Clarke was settling in her old position quite fast. “You need to trust that I know what’s right for us.”

 

Abby was losing ground, she knew that, but she still wasn’t happy about just dumping all this responsibility on her daughter. She was just trying to protect her, couldn’t Clarke see that? Kane on the other hand, saw that Clarke was no longer a kid who would need her protection, saw that she was more than capable of bearing the burdens of leadership.

 

“The grounders trust Clarke,” he said with a small smile, “maybe we should too.”

 

Hearing Kane come to Clarke’s side as well, Abby finally relented, ordering her guards to stand down and moving to the side, allowing her daughter to pass. Emerson was instructed to deliver a message to Mount Weather, a threat of a bigger army, that they can’t see or hurt thanks to the device used against reapers they took off of him.

 

“The more they’re looking at us, the less they’re looking at him.” She explained to Octavia when she asked how this was supposed to help her brother. “Bellamy is the key for this plan to work and we need him alive. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t do something to put him in any more danger.”

 

Octavia tried not to look nervous and nodded, letting Clarke know that she trusted her and left with Indra and the rest of the grounders. Clarke and Anya followed shortly after, Clarke having decided to spend some more time with Anya after the stressful events of the whole day.

 

“You’re in charge, huh?” Anya teased.

 

“Apparently, yeah.” A small smile played on Clarke’s lips.

 

“Good you finally realized that.” She looked kind of proud. “I’m going to have way more faith in your decision-making than your mother’s.”

 

“Well, that makes at least one person.” Clarke chuckled but Anya shook her head.

 

“You know all of us that are here trust you more. Ask Indra, Brennt or even some of your guards I would bet.”

 

“Guards don’t know me, they have no reason to trust me.”

 

“Don’t they? I think from what they _have_ seen, they must be impressed.”

 

Clarke relaxed in her chair little, slumping her back making her seem smaller, “It’s weird. I feel better here in a tent like this than I do in the Ark.”

 

“You were a prisoner on the Ark. That would explain some of your discomfort with the place.”

 

Clarke mulled over a thought in her mind and decided that she could talk to Anya, “Have I told you why I was a prisoner?”

 

“I don’t believe you did.”

 

And so Clarke told her the whole story. She explained the oxygen problems, the time they had left, why they were sent on the ground. She told her of her father and how she thought it was Wells who outed him, only to discover it was her mother who did it. She told her how she promised her father that she would tell the people the truth, but she never got the chance as she was arrested right after he was floated.

 

She suspected Anya didn’t fully understand things like life support and floating, how they could run out of air to breathe or why they were imprisoning children for such minor things, but she still listened to everything Clarke said.

 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. I can see why you would not want to spend more time in that place.” Anya said, fidgeting with her hands in her lap.

 

“Yeah, almost all the good memories are tainted now.”

 

“We could set you up a new tent here, if you wish so.”

 

“No, I couldn’t impose.”

 

“You wouldn’t impose Clarke, we would welcome your presence here. And I wouldn’t need to constantly hear Brennt’s complaints about how he dislikes the place.”

 

Clarke thought it over for a moment. She really did feel better here, she would be closer to the training area they arranged. To Anya. Clarke wondered when exactly did being closer to Anya became an advantage. Well, looking at her now, she probably could have guessed when. Of course they were both reluctant to acknowledge the something between them, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t there.

 

“Okay.” Clarke conceded.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes, really.”

 

“We’ll get it done tomorrow morning, then. If you want to, you can borrow my tent for tonight, I can go share with Indra.” Anya said.

 

“I see enough space for a second bed here.”

 

Anya looked around for a little bit and saw that there was space for it. “I didn’t want to assume…”

 

“Well, if you don’t want me here...” Clarke started.

 

“No.” Anya said maybe bit too quickly. “That’s not it, I just thought maybe you would want your privacy.”

 

“Don’t worry, this is fine. Almost like in TonDC.” Clarke smiled and Anya nodded.

 

“I will have my men bring one of our beds here then. For now, we should go find something to eat.” She got up and left, Clarke following behind her.

 

\---

 

The sun was barely hidden behind the trees, the cold morning breeze coming through as sounds of steel against steel were ringing throughout the area. Clarke was testing her combat skills against other grounders, with Anya and Indra watching intently. The rest of the Ark was just waking up and more people were gathering around them, seeing one of their own fight against the foreigners. At least that’s how they saw her, most f the time, as one of her own. Now, Clarke was wearing full grounder ensemble and the way she held herself in the fight, if they didn’t know her they would have never guessed she came from the sky.

 

Clarke was patient, countering every move the grounder made against her, mirroring each step as they circled around each other. Clarke knew he was stronger, meaning she had to be faster, instead of blocking she parried, instead of attacking she just waited for him to expose one side. And as strong as he was, he was also careless. It took a while for Clarke to notice, but each time he stepped forward he took a little too long to bring his other leg forward.

 

The next time he tried to advance, Clarke easily sidestepped him and kicked his foot from under him. The man immediately lost balance and fell on his back. Before he had any chance to recover, Clarke was already on him, kneeling on his arm and pressing her blade to his throat. He tried struggling against her, but she just struck him in the temple with the butt of her blade, causing his vision to black out. For the second fight this morning, Clarke was victorious.

 

“ _I see she took your lessons seriously._ ” Indra proclaimed after she saw that they had to carry the lying man away.

 

“ _That she did. I’m almost afraid it’s just a matter of time before she will be able to defeat us like that._ ” Anya responded.

 

“ _I wouldn’t put it behind her._ ” Brennt added in from behind them.

 

They watched one more grounder try to take Clarke down and fail. Anya noticed the chancellor come out of the Ark to see what was going on and she chuckled when Kane had to stop her from rushing here when she recognized her daughter as one of the fighters. Abby’s expression changed from concerned to terrified when she realized that Clarke was more than capable of defending herself.

 

Clarke extended a hand to the man she just knocked down on the ground and he took it, allowing her to help him up and by the same gesture conceding to her skill. She wiped the sweat of her brow with the back of her hand and thanked him for the fight. All around looked impressed with the sky girl’s performance and began to respect her on a different level than just a leader. She was clearly capable of being a warrior. Clarke looked around the crowd for a bit before blue met amber. She flashed a smile in Anya’s direction and Anya proudly nodded back at her.

 

It was weird how natural it felt here among the grounders for Clarke, but she supposed sometimes, life just took you in directions you wouldn’t expect. And even if those directions involved leather tents and worn out clothing, they were also accompanied by certain people that she was glad to have met, people who she would give her life for. And given the way Anya was looking at her now, she suspected at least some of them would do the same for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this came earlier than I expected. I hope the ending isn't weird, I just didn't know where to cut it off and where to start the next chapter. Let me know if you liked it or not!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The TonDC missile...

“But it will be enough?” Clarke asked.

 

“Enough for one rocket exactly. No testing, no messing up, we would have one shot at this.” Raven said from where she was sitting on the table. “Now there are good news and bad news.” She stood up and made her way to a drawing board, where she erased a couple of schemes she charted earlier. “Good news is I was able to get some info about these dams and how they’re built. That’s where the good news end. Because it’s curved, we need to get the perfect angle, so the explosion actually can have some effect. And there are two options. Both with, basically the same result. We either shoot at the top, making the dam lose stability and collapse. Physically collapse. The whole thing would come crashing down, releasing all the water it’s been holding back and flooding the entire area.”

 

Clarke knew she would have to talk all the options through with Lexa, but this one didn’t seem like something the commander would agree to. “And the other one?”

 

“We shoot at the bottom, taking out and collapsing the control room. The problem with this one is there will be no water-flow regulation and that can lead to two things. The turbines will either clog up the tunnel due to the collapse, causing water-level to rise over the dam. Or the turbines will stay intact. Relatively speaking. No regulation means they will degrade faster than they do normally and there will be no one capable of maintaining and repairing them. The degradation will get to the point where they will break down. So either way it’s a ticking bomb, just waiting to explode. And when it does, the result is going to be almost the same as if we shot the top of the dam.” Raven was drawing on a board, illustrating her every point and showing Clarke what could happen. “Maybe just slower, the water wouldn’t be released as fast, the dam wouldn’t collapse all at once. Maybe.” Raven sighed and dropped the marker she was drawing with.

 

Clarke was trying to process all the information she just received and tried to figure out if this was the best course of action. Before she could say anything, Brennt spoke from the doorway where he was on guard. “Is there another way? I cannot pretend like I understood all of what you said, but I think I got the general idea. And as much as I want to see the mountain fall, I don’t believe this is the way to go about it.”

 

“I agree.” Raven nodded.

 

“So do I, we would destroy too much of Trikru territory, probably flood some villages along the way. Even if we evacuated them…”

 

“Which is why I thought of an alternative. One that Clarke will not like, but will just have to accept.”

 

“I’m listening.” Clarke said suspiciously.

 

“I will go. Me and someone else, preferably. We’ll take apart the dam from inside. Manually disable and dock the turbines, then we can blow up the control centre without worrying about the thing falling down. Sure, maybe the rivers here will be a bit higher, but that’s it.”

 

Clarke closed her eyes and slowly exhaled. “Raven, last time I sent someone to the mountain…”

 

“I know. And I still want to go. I have to go. It’s the only way.”

 

“I’ll have to talk this out with Lexa. I should be leaving for TonDC soon.”

 

\---

 

“Bellamy hasn’t checked in yet, so I’ll need you to go for now. I’ll head out as soon as I hear from him.”

 

“Lexa’s expecting you, Clarke.” Kane said.

 

“But she respects you enough to accept you in my place. And as I said, it’s only temporary, you can explain that to her.”

 

Kane mulled it over in his head for a while before agreeing. He went to prepare for his departure with the few guards that were chosen to accompany him. About two hours after the group left, accompanied by Indra and some of her warriors, Clarke went back to Raven’s workshop. She was surprised to find Brennt there already, making conversation with Raven.

 

“So, this is a weapon against reapers?” He asked as he picked up one of the tone generators Raven was working on.

 

“Yes, it’s what the mountain men use to control them.”

 

“But… it’s just sound.” He tried activating it. “I mean, it’s annoying sound, but…”

 

Raven laughed softly and grabbed the small sound-stick from his hands. “They’re conditioned to hate the sound. It’s associated with immense pain, apparently.” She tried explaining, but Brennt still looked clueless. “It’s not the sound itself, it’s what the sound reminds them of.”

 

“Ah. That makes sense, I think. And you can actually make these?”

 

“Of course. As long as I have the materials.”

 

Brennt looked impressed, but before he could say anything the radio in the corner crackled and Bellamy’s voice came through in a barely heard whisper. Clarke moved from where she was standing in the doorway, making her presence known to the two in the room. All of them went to the radio, interested if Bellamy found the rest of the 100 like Clarke told him to do earlier.

 

He was quiet now, but other people were talking in the background. Clarke recognized one of the voices as Emerson and judging by what he was saying, the other one was Cage Wallace she heard about. Emerson was just delivering Clarke’s message and Clarke was waiting with bated breath to hear what his response would be. All the color drained from her face when she heard him dismiss the warning, saying none of it matters, because they were going to bomb TonDC tonight, when all the leaders would be assembled. The talking stopped and couple moments later, Bellamy asked Clarke if she heard all of that. She collected herself and responded that she did.

 

“I have to go warn them.”

 

“I’m with you.” Brennt immediately stood straighter and the look in his eyes told her that there was no point in arguing.

 

Raven nodded and was left alone with the radio after they quickly left.

 

“Go prepare the horses and wait for me by the gate.” She commanded when the two left the Ark. Clarke quickly went to her tent, to get her weapon and the black coat she got from Anya when the blonde grounder stepped inside.

 

“Clarke? What happened?” She asked when she saw how fast Clarke was getting ready.

 

“Bellamy overheard the maunon. They plan to drop a bomb on TonDC tonight and I have to go warn them.” She quickly moved out of the tent.

 

“Then I’m going with you.”

 

“No, you’re not. I’m not risking anything happening to you.”

 

As touched as Anya was by the sentiment, she didn’t think that Clarke would actually expect her to just stand by. “I wasn’t asking. You’re not going alone.” She whistled and motioned for one of her warriors to prepare a horse for her.

 

“I wasn’t going to anyway. Brennt’s going with me.”

 

“You know what I meant!”

 

Clarke paused briefly and turned to look at Anya. Her gaze flicked between her eyes and lips and she slowly exhaled to calm her wildly beating heart. She leaned forward and captured Anya’s lips in a brief but meaningful kiss, shortly forgetting about anyone that might have seen them. “I swear if something happens to you…”

 

“Likewise.” Anya quickly retorted.

 

Clarke nodded and got on the horse Brennt was waiting with. She told the guards to open the gate and before they did, she could hear more hooves behind her, letting her know that Anya was with them. The three of them quickly rode out and made for TonDC.

 

\---

 

When they arrive at the edge, they dismount from their horses and Clarke turns to talk to them. “I’m going to talk to Lexa, I need you two to scout the area around.” Before either of them could ask why, which Clarke saw they both wanted to do, she clarified, “They mentioned they have a spotter, someone to mark this area so they know where to fire the missile. I need you to try and find him.”

 

Anya nodded and told Clarke to go warn Lexa, assuring her that the commander will know what to do.

 

“And be careful. Both of you.” She said before they disappeared into the woods.

 

“Clarke, what are you doing here so soon?” Octavia approached Clarke as she neared the entrance.

 

“Change of plans. Can you take me to Lexa?”

 

“What’s wrong?” Octavia sounded concerned.

 

“Nothing, I just need to talk to her.”

 

“Ok, follow me.” She didn’t sound convinced, but decided not to press it further.

 

“Klark kom Skaikru honors us with her presence.” Was the first thing Lexa said, sarcastically. Clarke noticed Kane standing just a couple feet away from them.

 

“Can we talk in private?” She said in a voice low enough, to make sure no one heard her, even though no one was particularly near.

 

Lexa’s expression changed to dead serious right away, “Yes, this way.”

 

\---

 

“A missile, you’re sure?”

 

“Yes, we have to start evacuating, now.”

 

“No.”

 

“What do you mean, no, Lexa?”

 

\---

 

“Sometimes you have to concede a battle to win the war.”

 

\---

 

“You showed true strength today, don’t let emotions stop you now.”

 

\---

 

She didn’t know her mother even got in TonDC. But she knew she couldn’t just let her die. Not her. She managed to warn her and they both spotted the missile flying through the air. Even with the distance between them and the town, the impact still knocked them clean of their feet. Clarke’s vision blacked out as soon she hit the ground.

 

\---

 

“Tell me this was Lexa. Please, Clarke. Please tell me this wasn’t you.”

 

“I wish I could.”

 

\---

 

“Their blood is on your hands and even if we win, I’m afraid you won’t be able to wash it off this time.”

 

\---

 

Clarke kept hearing the words in her head. Lexa telling her she did the right thing, her own mother condemning her for the same actions. She saw a horse run by her, it’s mane on fire. A woman came out of one of the burning buildings, holding her own torn off arm.

 

“I could’ve warned them. I could’ve saved them.”

 

“If they see us, they’ll strike again.” Lexa tried pulling Clarke away from the city. “Clarke. Victory stands on the back of sacrifice. You know that.”

 

“I want the mountain men dead. All of them.” Clarke said. The fiery resolve in her eyes almost intimidated even Lexa.

 

Lexa was finally able to get Clarke to come with her and they slipped into the woods. The sound of gunfire could be heard above the ruined city, making it easy for them to locate the sniper. They quickly advanced through the forest, Lexa lecturing Clarke along the way, but Clarke was too angry to listen. The constant shots just fueling her vigor and keeping her pace fast. Rustling in the bushes before them, forced them to come to a stop. Clarke pulled out her gun and aimed in the direction of the sound. 

 

“Is it him?” Lexa asked from behind Clarke, where she couldn’t see as clearly.

 

“No,” it took a while to recognize the shape and the features in the face peeking from the foliage before her, but Clarke knew the person, “Lincoln.”

 

“Clarke.” He said with a gruff voice. “Commander, what… Octavia said you’re both…”

 

“You’ve seen Octavia?”

 

“Yeah.” He breathed out. “The few that survived the explosion are being pinned down by a sniper. That’s why I’m here.”

 

Again, a shot pierced the air, breaking their reunion. 

 

“We have to get to the high ground.” Lexa said.

 

Above the forest, the only cover they had were rocks, scattered all over the hill. Clarke moved in front, keeping low and trying to look where exactly was the sniper hiding. She rounded one of the boulders to look around, when the sniper fired again, this time in her direction. He chipped of a piece of rock that flew in Clarke’s cheek. It scratched the skin off and it burned like hell, but it wasn’t stopping her.

 

“So much for the element of surprise.” Clarke said, leaning against the rock.

 

“I’ll draw his fire, you go around and take him from behind.” Lincoln prepared himself to run, but Clarke stopped him.

 

“No, I will.” She drew her gun from it’s holster and fired a couple of shots in his direction, while Lincoln took off and flanked the sniper. Clarke was keeping him busy with her suppressing fire and Lexa was peeking out to watch Lincoln. Clarke saw him turn around when Lincoln jumped on him. She quickly moved out as she saw him struggle against Lincoln’s strength. A high pitched sound suddenly came out and Lincoln released his grip on the man as he fell to the ground, clutching his ears. Before Clarke got a clear shot, they were both up on their feet, the sniper hiding behind the grounder, holding his knife to his throat.

 

“Drop your weapon.” He said.

 

“Just let him kill me and take him out.” Lincoln was trying to keep the blade away from his throat. “Clarke! Please… your people need you.”

 

“You are my people.”

 

The bullet went straight through Lincoln’s shoulder and into the heart of the mountain man.

 

“So, did that make you feel better?” Lexa came up behind Clarke.

 

Clarke swallowed and looked at the gun. It felt heavier than before. She holstered it again, but this time, it’s weight didn’t make her feel safe. It just felt cumbersome and uncomfortable.

 

“No.”

 

She moved to put a makeshift bandage on Lincoln’s shoulder, so he wouldn’t pass out from blood loss when she heard rustling nearby. She gripped her gun again, in case it was more trouble, but she quickly released it when she saw the dirty streak of blonde followed by a young grounder. Clarke quickly tightened the cloth and stood up.

 

Anya and Brennt came into view, both visibly exhausted after presumably running up the hill.

“Clarke, I’m sorry. We couldn’t find him and after the blast… We had to go see if anyone needed any help. As soon as we heard the gunfire we moved out.” Brennt said first.

 

To Clarke’s surprise, Anya moved straight to her and raised her hand to Clarke’s chin, turning her head so she could inspect the scrape on her cheek that Clarke almost forgot about. 

 

“You are hurt.” Her voice was just a whisper. She gently grazed her fingers over her cheek, carefully not touching the wound.

 

“He got it worse.” Clarke motioned with her head towards the dead sniper. 

 

Anya’s eyes were glass, full of tears she couldn’t let fall. She released a shaky breath and pulled Clarke into her, wrapping her arms around the smaller blonde. Lexa was surprised at this sight. She knew Anya cared about Clarke, but she didn’t expect her friend to show it so readily in front of others. But she also remembered Costia, and how she felt around her. With that memory in her head, she couldn’t fault Anya for giving in. And when she saw how tightly Clarke clutched to her, maybe she wouldn’t have to regret it.

 

\---

 

“What happened here will not stand.” Lexa looked around the remains of TonDC as the survivors listened to their commander. “The mountain will fall. The dead will be avenged!”

 

\---

 

“Over 500.” Clarke said, looking at her hands.

 

After getting everyone out of the wreckage, the most wounded had to be transferred back to Camp Jaha to be properly treated. Those that could however, moved out of TonDC to a large encampment that was both near the mountain, but out of range of the acid fog. All the generals and their chosen guard were positioned on a cliff, with the rest of the army being bellow. Clarke of course shared a tent with Anya, where she now sat on her bed. Anya sat on a chair nearby and was drinking some alcohol from a cup while listening to Clarke.

 

“Over 500 what?” She asked softly.

 

“I killed over 500 people.”

 

Anya stopped mid-drink and set down her cup. “No, you didn’t.”

 

“How so? 300 of your warriors if you remember and over 200 now in TonDC.” She said angrily.

 

Anya looked down and closed her eyes and Clarke realized she shouldn’t lash out on her. “I’m sorry. Of course you remember your warriors.” She shook her head. “I’m an idiot.”

 

Anya of course figured out that Clarke told Lexa about the attack and Lexa knew she had to protect their insider.  _ Concede one battle to win the war. _ One of the lessons Anya taught her herself. Of course she wished there was another way to go about it, but Anya couldn’t figure one out. She stood up and made her way to Clarke and sat down next to her.

 

“You did what you had to Clarke. Nothing else.” Anya placed her hand on Clarke’s cheek and turned her head so she could look her in the eyes. “You do everything you can to protect your people. You had to protect Bellamy.”

 

“The 200 that died, they were my people as well. I didn’t protect them.” Clarke did everything she could to fight back the tears.

 

“But how many did you save by doing that? How many are trapped in the mountain? All your friends and all of our people. And I mean  _ our. _ To sacrifice the few for the good of the many, that’s something a leader has to capable of doing.”

 

“How can you not hate me? After all I did.”

 

“I told you already. I see no malice in you, no hate. I know if you had a choice, you wouldn’t do what you did.”

 

But there was hate in Clarke. Plenty of it. Not towards any of her people, no. Towards the mountain. Clarke was almost afraid just how much she wanted to see it fall. And not just because of herself and her own friends. But because of Anya as well. Because of how she, and all the other grounders were treated like livestock. To be caged and slaughtered. That’s not how their lives should end. The grounders were proud and strong people and they deserved far better lives than they had.

 

“There’s always a choice.”

 

“Not always, I think.” Anya brushed a strand of hair away from Clarke’s face.

 

“Like when?” Clarke whispered.

 

_ When our hearts decide who to follow. _ “Like in the situations you were put in.” Anya leaned her forehead against Clarke’s. “Don’t blame yourself so much Clarke. You are putting too much on your own shoulders.”

 

“Sorry, can’t help it.” Clarke smiled weakly.

 

“Go to sleep. We’ll have a lot to do in the days ahead of us.” She said as she got up, but Clarke caught her hand.

 

She was looking up at Anya with pleading eyes. “Will you stay with me tonight?”

 

Anya stumbled over her words a bit, “Are you sure?”

 

Clarke pulled her down and turned over so she could hold her hand against her chest. Anya was stunned for a few seconds before she realized that her awkwardness can’t be making Clarke comfortable and she settled against her back, holding her close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I was busy with school the last few weeks so I didn't have much time to write, but I hope you still like what little I managed to get out. As always, let me know in the comments what you think.


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